Opinion

April 1, 2002

Leggies need beer with whine

By Marvin Boyle

Alcohol is an integral part of college life. We drink in I.V., in the bars downtown; some of us even pour it on our Cheerios in the morning.

April 1, 2002

Reporters press for more booze

By Theodore Ruxbin

For the past three years, I've had to sit through A.S. Leg Council, covering their inane chatter and bickering for the Isla Vista News-Suppress.

April 1, 2002

My column, having achieved perfection, does not need any editing

By Crystal McSwanson

Note to editors: You don't have to edit this story. Please run it tomorrow and call me if you change anything.

April 1, 2002

Global warming is heart warming

By Susy Bucket

During my five years at UCSB I've heard nothing but "global warming is bad," "help stop global warming," "blah blah blah, global warming."

April 1, 2002

Why must UC see up my anal cavity?

By Phil Leak

I understand that security is a big issue since the Sept. 11 attacks, but did UCSB really have to install cameras in all the bathrooms around campus?

April 1, 2002

This school would be great sans you

By Mike Schwanzen

I've got two more years at UCSB and I want to make them the best ever - you can help! All you have to do is transfer.

March 8, 2002

Resisting Blind Patriotism

By Nico Pitney

The repercussion I fear most is a radical crystallization of blind and belligerent national pride - the kind that mucks up even the most reliable channels of information, and impedes progress in all facets of social and ...

March 8, 2002

(No Ducks Were Actually Harmed)

By Staff

The ducks seem more nervous in I.V. These ducks seem to sense a preditorial threat.

March 8, 2002

Don’t Let Fliers Mislead You About the I.V. Master Plan

By Bryan D. Brown

Recently, a misleading flyer and petition have been distributed throughout Isla Vista regarding the Isla Vista Project Area Committee. As the Graduate Student Association representative of the IV-PAC, I am very confused ...

March 8, 2002

What UCSB Really Needs Is a Flying, Administrator-Eating Great White Shark Named ‘Peaches’

By Eric Simons

Chancellor Henry Yang was walking from his office in Cheadle Hall to the University Center today when, in a move that experts said could damage his close relationship with students, he was eaten.

March 7, 2002

Sleep Shouldn’t Be a Crime

By Peter Marin

On behalf of the Committee for Social Justice, I want to address the issue of the proposed ordinance on sleeping and camping to be considered by the District Board.

March 7, 2002

Liquid Death From the Heavens

By Staff

It rained today, confusing many, and wetting everyone. Rain is mothernature's assassin.

March 7, 2002

No Phone, No Pool, No Pets, Ain’t Got No Cigarettes

By Brendan Buhler

Activists for Isla Vista's homeless community can't always get what they want. But if they try sometimes, they might just find they get the last thing they want.

March 6, 2002

Red Tape: Pricey Adventures in College Rentals

By Josh Braun

I slept on the couch at a friend's apartment in San Jose. The major difference is simple: the price. Three girls live here for around $430 a month per person. My three-bedroom apartment holds 6 people for $500 a person. ...

March 6, 2002

Reunited

By Staff

Nothing like the occasional encounter with an old Res Hall neighbor to make one feel old and insensitive. People who were your best friends.

March 6, 2002

The PC Path to Better Sex, Bigger Orgasms

By Sarah Kent

"Exercise" is not usually a word that is part of my vocabulary. The big "E" - not the drug - seems almost to be an obsession in our tiny community of beautiful people.