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Blossoms and Butt Nuggets

March 5, 2004 by

Guilt-free tulips to the grocers' union for reaching an agreement with Albertsons, Ralphs and Safeway and no longer making us feel like shit when we pick up Top Ramen and condoms.
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Going Out Smiling

March 5, 2004 by

Last issue before spring break. In an effort to keep you safe, I will share a cautionary tale.
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A.S. Gears Up to Protest Fee Hike and One Offensive Koala

March 5, 2004 by Joel Galster

Get Angry and Rally. Next Tuesday, March 9, in front of the UCen, there will be media, speakers, and students conglomerating on our campus as well as every other UC campus in protest of the new fee in...
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Joey’s Words Are Hate-Free

March 5, 2004 by Max Rasovsky

As long as everyone is already in the mood for blood, I feel it appropriate to offer my two cents on the matter of Tartakovsky-bashing. After reading Mr. Ali Kattan-Wright's article in the Mar. 2 iss...
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Booze Decoys Can Only Improve Life in I.V.

March 5, 2004 by Tom McKinny

I recently became aware of concerns local students have shared regarding a sting operation about to be implemented by the Isla Vista Foot Patrol. I understand the concerns came up at the recent 3rd Di...
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All Tomorrow

March 4, 2004 by Drew Atkins

Like Frankenstein, procrastination can be destructive in its own lazy, easygoing way. Harnessing its raw, seductive power is difficult, but harness it you must. It's an art form. Got calculus to compu...
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Writing on the Rocks

March 4, 2004 by

Two issues left - counting the one you're holding. The staff is staggering toward the finish, and I mean that quite literally. But we're almost there. One more day and I'll be as gone as the Dewar's.
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The Reader

March 4, 2004 by Melanee Young

Will it take the death of a fellow Santa Barbara college student to finally realize that fighting is not worth the cause? Or will intoxication, culminated with a high level of adrenaline, still remain...
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Richy Rich Gettin’ Richer

March 3, 2004 by Tiye Baldwin

An open letter to all the self-righteous, high-paid taxpayers and their equally pompous offspring: Dear Pillagers of the Public Trough, I'm poor. I didn't used to be. But now Republicanomics is dictat...
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Drunk as Slick

March 3, 2004 by

On this date in 1962, Mr. Wilt Chamberlain scored 100 points in a NBA game. If you believe Wilt, that is only the second greatest statistical accomplishment in his life.
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If That’s What Hookup Means, Then Yes

March 3, 2004 by Kate Rice

Seeing as how at least one portion of my everyday verbal discourse infallibly involves sex, this week I chose to address a sexual term whose definition is, like the balls, too often neglected: hooking...
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Horse Shit – Better than Bullshit

March 2, 2004 by

Election Day - wow, do we have some doozies to choose from. Do you like Beer Guy? Or do you prefer the Mustache Man?
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Nexus Endorsement for 3rd District Supervisor: Nobody

March 1, 2004 by Daily Nexus Editorial Board

We're not nihilists, yet we're endorsing nothing. When election time rolls around, the position of 3rd District supervisor is a magnet for political divisiveness, childish behavior and caustic campaig...
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Don’t Want You Back

March 1, 2004 by

People rejoice - the grocery workers will soon return. Hooray! There's a party in the streets! Let's hold a fucking parade. Get Mayor Quimby up there to declare a new holiday in their honor - "Replace...
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Blue Traffic Lights: Homophobia in the Homeland

March 1, 2004 by Joey Tartakovsky

Homophobia is plainly our society's last acceptable prejudice. Forgive the profanity, but the point needs to be made: upon hearing the words "kike," "nigger" or "spic," open-mouthed horror immediately...
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