On Tuesday I had a guest lecturer in my Sports Appreciation class (I figure my last quarter of college is a great time to challenge myself) talking about “cycling for fitness.” At one point he says, “Now, I don’t want to scare you…” then proceeds to tell a story that ends with, “Believe me, wearing a helmet is a lot less dorky than walking around with one ear and half your face missing.”

If everything that came between those two lines was just how this guy leads up to a fashion tip, then I’d hate to hear what he calls a “scary” story.

Tuesday’s forecast: You could tell people you lost the ear in a knife fight. Nothing dorky about that.