I got a speeding ticket and the cops were using radar. I read the book on how to fight radar and it seemed pretty easy, but when I got to court, the judge wouldn’t let me ask all of the questions that the book said to ask. As a result I lost. What gives?

Time to ask for a refund from the guy who wrote How to Beat a Radar Ticket and other great hits such as Solve the National Debt in Three Easy Payments! and Get Rich Quick by Reselling the Local Zoo’s Animal Dung. They sound like great ideas (especially in the infomercials at 3 a.m. right after that really intense episode of “Charles in Charge,” where the kids get in trouble and Charles saves them!), but they don’t really offer much more than you can find out for yourself with the Internet and five minutes (the approximate commercial time of a “Facts of Life” episode. You know, the one where the kids get in trouble and Ms. Garrett has to save them?).

Most “Beat the Radar” books rely on either showing that the officer doesn’t know how to operate the radar or that the radar itself is not working properly. Since officers are required to go to a three-day training school in order to use the radar, they are pretty familiar with how to use them. As part of that training, the officers are taught to calibrate the radar before and after they use them every day so as to confirm the radar is reading properly. So the radars are pretty accurate.

The books mostly apply to radar guns and not lidar. Radar uses radar waves to estimate the speed of vehicles, while lidar uses a laser to estimate vehicle speed. Lidar is more precise and easier to use. Also, since about 70 percent of the questions you need to ask in those books deals with radar beams, if the officer was using lidar – like we do at the UC Police Dept. – the questions don’t apply. In your case, the judge probably saw the direction you were headed and wouldn’t allow the questions that pertained to radar if the officer was using lidar. It’s a bummer, but just put it behind you and look forward to tonight’s exciting episode of the “The Brady Bunch”! You know, the one where the kids get in trouble and then Mike and Carol have to save them…

I live in Isla Vista and share an apartment with one other girl. She is currently dating a couch slug who has all but moved into our place. I want him out but she won’t make him leave. Can I arrest him for trespassing?

Dealing with couch slugs is extremely frustrating. The problem you have is that you and your roommate both have equal rights in allowing guests. Just as it would not be fair for your roommate to refuse to allow you to have a friend over to watch TV, you also can’t refuse the roommate’s right to have a friend over.

Of course, the roommate has taken this right to an extreme and now his or her friend is leaving a slime trail from the couch to the fridge. Legally, there is no trespassing since the slug has permission to be there. Your best recourse is to speak with your landlord and review the rental contract. Most contracts have clauses stating guests are limited to only a few days. Hopefully, your landlord can help out by showing the lease violation to your roommate. If that doesn’t work, wait for the slug to go outside and then pour a line of salt across the front door. No guarantee, but it’s worth a shot…

Ticked off by a ticket? Party popped by the Patrol? If you got questions, don’t let it eat away at you. Ask questions. Reach me anytime by calling the Crime Prevention Office at 893-4063 or by e-mailing .