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Stupid Pet Owner Tricks

This weekend, I watched a hamster spin around in a wheel. Hamsters seem to do this a lot if given the chance, which makes me wonder why most other animals don't.
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Isla Vista’s Dark Side

I told my mom not to worry; I wasn't going to get killed in Isla Vista. My mom is a worrywart. The nagging of a mother is one thing that a good majority of students retain long after they've moved awa...
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Hippies Aside, George Bush Is the Bomb

The peaceniks would lead one to think that President Bush acted entirely alone in taking on Iraqi dictator Saddam Hussein. They seem to think that Americans should have listened to the Europeans and t...
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Nexus Neglects Multi-Cultural Greek Groups

I must admit, every time I hear of greek organizations in the newspaper, I'm hesitant to read the article. As a greek myself, I don't want to hear about the negative incidents that happen when greeks...
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There’s No Use Arguing

In last night's Great Debate, Kerry and Bush both explained their qualifications to lead Iraq. Bush cited his testosterone levels, and Kerry countered with the fact that he, too, is male and resolute.
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Time to Cop Some Answers

Welcome to another year of thrills and chills at UCSB! My job in this and future columns is to help you have as much fun as possible while avoiding some of the pitfalls that so many students run into ...
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Why Can’t Teachers Learn to Show Up on Time?

With all the money I put into this school - be it in tuition, books, readers (the book's bastard cousin), parking permits, parking tickets or bad coffee - you would think the least thing the Universit...
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Genitalia Ventriloquist Should Give Credit Where Credit is Due

Dave Franzese's sex article ("The Man Behind the Fly," Daily Nexus, Sept. 29), although humorous at peak points, was a textbook view of misogyny and sophomoric humor at work.
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The Real Way to Keep Your Cash is to Party High School Style

I am writing in response to an article by Cory Anthony ("Save that FAFSA Check," Daily Nexus, Sept. 28) regarding how to keep the keg parties rolling. This article was the most ridiculous piece of cro...
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Lanlord Thanks Her Tenants for Staying Through Eviction Worries

I am a property manager in Isla Vista and have the illustrious pleasure of managing one of the buildings on beachside Del Playa cited by the County of Santa Barbara. There are five units in my buildin...
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Rumors of a Draft are Just That; Army Doesn’t Want Conscripts

By now everyone should know that the rumors about a military draft are completely without substance; however, the truth always bears repeating. There are no plans from this administration to reinstitu...
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The Artful Dodger: Florida’s Hurricane Hangover

Fifi killed 5,000 people. The National Hurricane Center's propensity for naming hurricanes always confused me. Why personify these swirling masses of devil weather?
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Waste and Want Not

I can't make it from one end of the Arbor to the other without being accosted by the flier zombies. Only a week into the quarter, I've already accumulated enough coffehouse show ads to kindle a modera...
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Assumptions About Queer Community Come Up Short

After reading Loren Williams' column ("Homosexuals Need to Learn How to Put Up Their Dukes," Daily Nexus, Sept. 28), it is clear that there is much work to be done to educate our campus community.
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The Man Behind The Fly

Anyhoo, I'm here today to tell you guys what a great year this is going to be for the Wednesday Hump. Not just because we're all going to learn a lot about sex and sexuality, but because Dave has some...
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