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Large Numbers

January 24, 2006 by

Damn that Kobe Bryant for upstaging the 'human on Sunday night. Doesn't number eight know that the 'human is the supreme being in the universe
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Sexism Promotes Oppression

January 24, 2006 by Katie Mahon

I am writing in response to Sam Solnick and Kate Wills' article, ("No Sex Please - We're British and Inconspicuous," Daily Nexus, Jan. 19) It is so great to hear that you are both enjoying your time i...
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Common Courtesy Can Broaden Horizons, Hook-Up Prospects

January 24, 2006 by Jenny Lewallen

Hello everyone, and welcome to Life Lessons with Grandma Jenny. Today we will be discussing "Common Fucking Courtesy" and how it can improve relationships with your fellow classmates here at UCSB.
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Trivial Party Pursuits

January 23, 2006 by Sean Swaby

This led me to ponder a rarely discussed level of swine, but one that nevertheless exists in Isla Vista's underbelly of crime. This is a level of asshole that lurks in your parties and reeks of excrem...
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Room with a View

January 23, 2006 by

The thing that most befuddles the 'human about January is why everyone is so eager to look at the 'human's overpriced, undersized excuse of a living quarter.
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Arnold’s Fee Freeze Is Simply a Start

January 23, 2006 by Bill Shiebler

It's been an interesting month for all UC students, including us at UCSB. At this time 30 days ago, UC undergraduate students could have expected a $492.00 (8 percent) increase in their student fees n...
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The Weathergasm

January 20, 2006 by

It was documented that Hitler could only orgasm when he spoke in public.
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An Apology to Our Readers

January 20, 2006 by The Daily Nexus Staff

We at the Daily Nexus would like to apologize profusely for the contents of Tuesday's Weather column, which included racist and offensive statements, the likes of which have no place in this newspaper...
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America, the Liberator

January 20, 2006 by Colin Marshall

"We should pull the troops out right now," asserted a hunched, eighty-year-old woman. "If some other army told you how to run your country, how would you feel about that?"
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Thieves Reach a New Depth

January 20, 2006 by Sean Swaby

A brief summary of a conversation between the roommates this past Monday morning: One enters. "Where have you been?""Buying deodorant.""Deodorant?""Yeah, some asshole jacked my deodorant at the party ...
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Early Checkout Is Better than Burnout

January 19, 2006 by Nick Pasto

A motivational speaker once told me that it's important to set goals if you hope to accomplish anything in life. He then asked me if I had set any goals for myself. I told him that my life's ambition ...
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Scatastrophe

January 19, 2006 by

I just found out today that the Sciggity Scat Man has died. Apparently, this happened several scaggety years ago, but that does not detract from the skiddity-magnitude of such a tragedy.
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Exposed Racist Infrastructure

January 19, 2006 by Courtney Bowden

When I first read "Race Relations Unjustly Questioned in Katrina Aftermath" (Daily Nexus, Jan. 17) I was disgusted. This is not an uncommon response for me to have after reading the Nexus, which is wh...
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Says Goodbye to Beloved Israeli Prime Minister

January 19, 2006 by Neer Lerner

Earlier this month, Israeli Prime Minister Ariel Sharon suffered a major stroke, accompanied by massive internal bleeding and exacerbated by blood thinners prescribed to him for a previous stroke.
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