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Meet: The WeatherJared

January 26, 2006 by

The 'human was vastly misinformed when it was told that there was a Subway at the new liquor store-esque Arbor. On the contrary, there was nary a sub to be bought, just a line of patient fools that fa...
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Get Off Your Throne for a Change

January 26, 2006 by Fergal Madigan

Public toilets rarely, if ever, act as a microcosm for a society. They have important functions, but social commentary is usually not one of them. Nevertheless, on the second floor of our Davidson Lib...
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Simply Incompetent

January 25, 2006 by

Cell phones and iPods are everywhere. The 'human is berated by technology.
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Bask in Porno’s Pleasures

January 25, 2006 by Nina Anthony

While nursing a hangover before breakfast Saturday morning with the eight other people who slept in my room, I found myself in a familiar place: Watching bad porn. What better way to spend time with m...
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Columnist Undermines Constitution

January 25, 2006 by Paul Jones

In response to Matt Cappiello's column "Alito Contructs Mediocrity" (Daily Nexus, Jan 24.), Mr. Cappiello makes numerous statements about the Constitution and the methodology for its interpretation, w...
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New Breed of Terrorists Reek of Ward Churchill’s Stench

January 25, 2006 by Harry Sarria

The U.S., unlike my birthplace of Cuba, is a land of opinions that can be freely expressed without fear of repercussions. Look at any op-ed piece in any publication across the country and you'll see t...
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Don’t Pester Us With Your Silly American Pastimes

January 25, 2006 by Sam Solnick Kate Wills

Darwin may be the bogeyman of myopic Midwesterners but at least here he stays in the classroom. Back in Blighty - this means England - survival of the fittest is yet to make the evolutionary leap away...
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Large Numbers

January 24, 2006 by

Damn that Kobe Bryant for upstaging the 'human on Sunday night. Doesn't number eight know that the 'human is the supreme being in the universe
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Sexism Promotes Oppression

January 24, 2006 by Katie Mahon

I am writing in response to Sam Solnick and Kate Wills' article, ("No Sex Please - We're British and Inconspicuous," Daily Nexus, Jan. 19) It is so great to hear that you are both enjoying your time i...
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Common Courtesy Can Broaden Horizons, Hook-Up Prospects

January 24, 2006 by Jenny Lewallen

Hello everyone, and welcome to Life Lessons with Grandma Jenny. Today we will be discussing "Common Fucking Courtesy" and how it can improve relationships with your fellow classmates here at UCSB.
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Trivial Party Pursuits

January 23, 2006 by Sean Swaby

This led me to ponder a rarely discussed level of swine, but one that nevertheless exists in Isla Vista's underbelly of crime. This is a level of asshole that lurks in your parties and reeks of excrem...
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Room with a View

January 23, 2006 by

The thing that most befuddles the 'human about January is why everyone is so eager to look at the 'human's overpriced, undersized excuse of a living quarter.
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Arnold’s Fee Freeze Is Simply a Start

January 23, 2006 by Bill Shiebler

It's been an interesting month for all UC students, including us at UCSB. At this time 30 days ago, UC undergraduate students could have expected a $492.00 (8 percent) increase in their student fees n...
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The Weathergasm

January 20, 2006 by

It was documented that Hitler could only orgasm when he spoke in public.
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An Apology to Our Readers

January 20, 2006 by The Daily Nexus Staff

We at the Daily Nexus would like to apologize profusely for the contents of Tuesday's Weather column, which included racist and offensive statements, the likes of which have no place in this newspaper...
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