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What Could Have Been

Today's previously written weather was going to win the 'human a Pulitzer.
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Evolutionary Ladder Tumbles

Raindrops kept falling on my head. Hiding beneath my warm beanie, my eyes were more than just a little red as I tried desperately to see my way past the lagoon and onto campus. A sweatshirt that had o...
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Pro-Bush Argument Fails to Impress

"Free speech! Free speech! I am an American, I deserve my freedoms!" Surprisingly, this phrase was uttered from the marginal crowd of pro-Bush and pro-warrantless wiretaps that graced the Impeach Bush...
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Shun the Zero-Sum

"Have you ever wondered," once asked the Whispers, one of the finest R&B outfits of the 1970s, "Why to win, somebody's got to lose?" While they most definitely knew how to lay down a solid groove, suc...
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Walking Ghost

So a friend of the 'human approached it the other day. "Do you know who the weatherhuman is?"
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Race Affects Voting for Logical Reasons

When I read Henry Sarria's article ("Racism Saturates Our Politics," Daily Nexus, March 2), arguing that ethnic minorities could be just as racist as whites, well, I agreed.
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Play With Your Food

Sex and food: We wouldn't be here without either of them. Many people are curious to combine the two in the bedroom, so, to inform all you food sex virgins about the combo out there, I outlined a few ...
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“Expanding” Horizons

The 'human recently found a disposed Cosmopolitan lying around at the Nexus. It found that under one of the "Ten Hot New Sex Positions" feature, a position exists known as, "The Diamond."
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Look at Both Sides of Story

It is well known that all media is biased. Depending on which news you read or watch and which country you are in, your opinions will become swayed based on where you get your news. In order to get a ...
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Save Some Cash, Walk Home From OTT

Karaoke at OTT on Wednesdays: A place for all those of age who just can't wait until Thursday for the weekend to officially begin downtown. For those of you under age who do not know of the beauty tha...
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Author Explains Why Fresh OJ Is Not Always An Option

Coming from a family with a purely agricultural background the article, "Jamba Dices Competing Blenders" (Daily Nexus, Feb. 28, 2006) naturally caught my interest. What caught my interest, however, wa...
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Don’t Pass Up Poppies

The thrills of college life have begun to evade us in redundancy, and in the same way most college kids crave sex and Freebirds burritos, there are those who crave reaching an intellectual epiphany wi...
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Bitter ‘Human

First I rained on Associated Student's parade, now I'm just raining on everyone.
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Jamba Dices Competing Blenders

I have recently moved from Newport Beach to Isla Vista and have discovered Blenders in the Grass, a local alternative to the national smoothie chain Jamba Juice. Although I have been a faithful Jamba ...
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Protect Your Constitution

Currently in the process of writing an entirely new constitution, the Associated Students Legislative Council hopes to streamline student government operations to more effectively serve the student bo...
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