Starbucks Deserves to Roast Rivals
Starbucks is crap and the corporate machine is the devil. Yada, yada, yada. When I hear shit like this, I usually feel like punching the nearest hippie.
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New Hump Replaces Sex Tips With Sleaze
Throughout my years here at UCSB, professors and administrators have constantly told me that I am attending one of the "top universities in the country."
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Bloated, Overdemaning UAW Suffocates American Auto Industry
General Motors, the largest automobile company on the planet, earned over $200 billion in revenue last year, but by December, had nearly $2 billion in net losses.
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The Midterm Master Reveals Secrets of Mad Testing Skills
Hello Gauchos, this is your conscience speaking. You know that odd sensation you feel churning in your gut right now? T
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A.S. Vilifies Candidate
Despite their desire to "create a safe space," some members in Associated Students Legislative Council seem to have a nasty habit of automatically jumping the gun and defining others with reputation-d...
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Don’t Fear the Falling Rain, Embrace It
I would like to take this opportunity to clear up a common misconception among UCSB students: it's okay to go out in the rain. It won't hurt you.
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Batteries Not Excluded From Trouble
Moore's Law, which states the number of transistors that can be placed on a single circuit will increase exponentially, doubling every year, has so far proven to be extremely accurate.
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Forget Laundry; Feel Breeze Above Knees
Britney Spears is taking over the world. And by world, I mean the press. And by Britney Spears, I mean her hoo-hah. Having made yet another appearance this past week, the greater population of the Uni...
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Brave Broham Shares Kegs of Wisdom From the Depths of I.V.
Seeing as we've already bitten into a good chunk of Fall Quarter, I'm sure we've all had enough time to make our fair share of mistakes. God forbid! Not in Isla Vista!
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Downloading Dilemma Needs Recognition as an Illegal Act
Editor, Daily Nexus,
This is in regards to Adam Wenger's last column ("RIAA Deaf to Benefits of P2P," Daily Nexus, Oct. 8). Leaving aside your wildly out of proportion 1984 reference - a technique ri...
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Swallowing Leads to STDs, Not a Safe Sexual Practice
Editor, Daily Nexus,
"Once the dude fluid makes it to your mouth," says Alex Shlyakhov, ("Manage Magic Beanstalk Like a Pro," Daily Nexus, Oct. 3), "it's safe to swallow."
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Featured Comic
Please Don’t Try to Bike Over the Hump Pls
Labyrinth: Grades Search
Aries
March 21 - April 19
Ride through the bike path without crashing
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Leo
July 23 - August 22
Drunk for 24 hours
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Bagel crawl
Libra
September 23 - October 22
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
Finally talk to their class crush
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Graduate
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
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