David Clewett

January 8, 2008

Brooding Bromeo Consoles Heartbroken Student Body

By David Clewett

Touching your hand to a stove, tripping on the same step heading into Davidson, choking on your own spit: There are many behaviors we engage in as humans that compel us to hurt ourselves.

November 14, 2007

Job Jester Conquers Corporate Etiquette

By David Clewett

Make eye contact. Slap on that grin and prolong your attention span even if you lack the capacity.

November 2, 2007

Slammed Semicolon Needs Some Sweet, Sweet Lovin’

By David Clewett

In light of recent threats posed towards you, my dearest semicolon, I am compelled to raise a backhand just like the curved fist that adorns your brow.

October 26, 2007

Avoid an Arrest on All Hallows Eve

By David Clewett

Picture this: Dorothy slowly rocks to and fro as her crocodile tears splatter upon beer-licked pavement.

October 23, 2007

Don of Disguise Stitches New Ideas

By David Clewett

Isla Vista, something wicked this way comes. As if this ash-clad omen wasn't indicative enough, our favorite holiday of drunken debauchery and masked delight swiftly approaches.

October 16, 2007

The Midterm Master Reveals Secrets of Mad Testing Skills

By David Clewett

Hello Gauchos, this is your conscience speaking. You know that odd sensation you feel churning in your gut right now? T

October 9, 2007

Science Stud Defines Dogma of Bio Majors

By David Clewett

Do you ever find yourself studying on a Friday night, or taking notes whilst your buddies take keg stands? Or, perhaps, question if life is really worth living on a daily basis? If so, you are probably either a biology m...

October 3, 2007

Avoid Theft Through Handy Chick Allegory

By David Clewett

It's no mystery that Isla Vista is a bike clepto's wet dream, so in light of this fact I wanted to share some sage advice on how to best conceal your choice mode of transportation from thieves. Since I imagine I'm probab...