Opinion
On Jan. 26, 2009, 50,000 people in the United States were laid off. On Jan. 27, the American Federation of State, County and Municipal Employees on UCSB's campus asked for a $6,000 raise per employee ...
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There is something very disturbing happening on this campus. I believe that some of our professors are using their prestigious positions as academics to pass off biased and partisan political position...
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I've been freezing my ass off for the last three months. Sure, the last mini heat wave got me back into swapping my pants for tall boys of St. Ides, but now that Taaka-induced sleeve ripping leaves me...
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Weekend Forecast: Fuckin’ corrections stealing my space… So how ’bout them Superbowl ads? I took one out for all the money I make in the Nexus. Be on the lookout for my .03 seconds o...
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Butterflies. Not exactly what people think of when they think of Goleta. The average person is more likely to picture the beer-swilling, good looking, brilliantly scholastic UCSB student. In spite of ...
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Let’s play a game called “What is the IVFP wasting their time on today?” There are a bunch of potential valid answers to the question of course, but one is particularly prevalent tod...
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The other day, I cuddled up to my favorite naked bed buddy and tapped into the Web’s fine array of pornographic cinema. We were curious about the jaw-dropper that everyone’s been buzzing a...
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Rape is a taboo subject in our society. Many people don’t want to even acknowledge the existence of rape and how disgustingly frequently it occurs. Ignorance is bliss, right? The word “rap...
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As UCSB students, we come to accept certain facts of life. For instance, Storke Tower is an eyesore. Try denying that. Also, if you live in I.V. you’re bound to get a copy of the yellow pages ev...
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It is the curse of the humour columnist (a title which I can now claim in this inaugural column of mine, although I shy away from the term "writer" since it carries connotations of far greater tact) t...
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In the static bliss of perpetual blue skies, skimpy clothing, ever-flowing effervescent natty ice and sunsets that lend themselves to postcards and dreams from the landlocked, it becomes natural to ta...
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Did you know that there are still a large number of Americans who don’t believe in evolution, and instead embrace creationism? Of course you did, but you probably think that’s a bad thing ...
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Everything shower every day
Has an extensive tote bag collection but never brings one to Trader Joe’s
Reusing condoms
Collecting tears to water their plants
Asking to shower together to “save water”
Air conditioning and electric blanket running simultaneously
Has gone from Temu to SHEIN for bikini purchases
Fracking
On their 10th flight out of Santa Barbara Airport this month
Owns seven Stanley cups
Wrote their environmental ethics essay with ChatGPT
Vegan contributing to Big Almond
