Looks like the penny has a whole new look – the U.S. mint just released four brand new designs to commemorate Honest Abe’s 200th birthday. What does this mean for us? Nothing – because who the hell uses a penny anyway? Seriously, the only occasion when I’ll bust out that copper coinage is when I’m trying to avoid getting more. Like, when I’m going to get 29 cents change and I’ll dig around for that one penny I have in the bottom of my backpack just to not get four more… yeah. I’m really glad the government still makes these (out of 1.4 cents worth of material each, no less).

Tomorrow’s forecast: Say hello to the Weatherhuman Smeltery, where you can turn your worthless change into slightly less worthless coins! Also, beer cans and your roommate’s fillings. Whatever floats your boat.