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Blinded By The Light

January 4, 2010 by The Weatherhuman

For 2010, the Weatherhuman has decided to sober up for good.
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Stealing From Charity Ruins 21st Celebration

January 4, 2010 by Clare Edwards

Someone tore the donation box off of the wall and stole all of the money out of it. Am I surprised? Not entirely. Disappointed? Absofuckinlutely. Along with my bike and most of the food from my freeze...
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Turds and Tulips

December 3, 2009 by Staff

Plump and juicy tulips to Dogtown, the newest eatery in Isla Vista. There’s just something about a sausage that makes our mouths water. Scared and confused turds to the UCSB alert system for its...
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Dead or Alive

December 3, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

You’re still alive? Neat, I can almost say the same myself. Well, I know you’re busy, it’s okay, we both are. You’re downing your energy drink of choice and highlighting like a...
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Community Housing Office Assists Post-Holiday House Hunters

December 3, 2009 by Maya Salmon

Q: I heard that if we don't find a house in January, we will be stuck living in one of the worst places in Isla Vista. Is this true?
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Gift Guide: for him

December 3, 2009 by Rebecca Horrigan

Entering the mind of a man can be a tricky task when it comes to picking the perfect present. This guide is here with a list of fun suggestions to take the stress out of your seasonal shopping this ye...
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Gift Guide: for her

December 3, 2009 by Nadia Ismail

The holiday season is truly the most wonderful time of the year. While it can be said that the holidays are a time of hospitality and warmth, gifts are also an inevitable staple of the season. While t...
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Frustrated Freshman Decries Mistreatment of Dorm Bathrooms

November 30, 2009 by Jonathan Ly

We're beyond being "big kids" now; that was in high school. We're adults now. It doesn't make a difference if somebody is going to party on Del Playa Drive, stay at home having some drinks, take a lad...
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Weekend Wrap-Up

November 30, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

I used to wonder if we all go home and have basically the same Thanksgiving. But then, did your non-Scottish uncle show up in a kilt? Were all the pictures taken horizontally? Did your other uncle ask...
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Get Crafty for Cheap Gifts

November 30, 2009 by Igor Hiller

This Thanksgiving was a little different. My family, which emigrated from the Soviet Union, doesn’t usually celebrate Thanksgiving because, apparently, Squanto never helped any Commies. This yea...
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Evangelical Ideas About Evolution Ignore Established Scientific Facts

November 25, 2009 by Michael Novak

On Thursday, Nov. 19 the scientific community celebrated the 150th anniversary of the publication of Charles Darwin's ground-shaking work, On the Origin of Species. Unfortunately, not everybody was ex...
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Fill Thanksgiving Weekend With More Than Turkey

November 25, 2009 by Opinion Editor

Thanksgiving weekend is right around the corner -- and it's sure to be stuffed. Stuffed with turkey, stuffed with pie, stuffed with kamikaze shots with Grandma and, if you have any respect for your be...
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A Surge in Afghanistan Would Lead to Failure

November 24, 2009 by Jamie Silverstein

It is in this era of political change that we are reconnected with that gloomy past that we wished to box up and hide. We take to our hands and knees, flashlight in mouth, and trudge through the darkn...
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World News Courtesy of TFLN

November 24, 2009 by The Weatherhuman

I can only slap myself on the forehead when I let Texts From Last Night scoop me on something I should know about and would know about if I, I don't know, bothered to read the news.
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Dithering on War Decision Signals Obama’s Weakness

November 24, 2009 by Steven Begakis

It is not possible to passively win a war. Winning requires an objective, a strategy to accomplish that objective and a determined execution of that strategy. President Obama has no clearly defined ob...
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