Opinion
Unlike the show of unity in the political environment following September 11, conservatives, out of power and desperate for a line of attack that will actually stick against President Obama, have unle...
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If Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab had only properly detonated his concealed stash of Pentaerythritol tetranitrate, or PETN, our country may have suffered an attack of proportions not seen since 9/11.
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Yeah, 2010, woo! In Russian culture, it's proper to wish your friends and loved ones well for the coming year. I'll do it for you since you're reading my column, which automatically makes you my frien...
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Someone tore the donation box off of the wall and stole all of the money out of it. Am I surprised? Not entirely. Disappointed? Absofuckinlutely. Along with my bike and most of the food from my freeze...
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Plump and juicy tulips to Dogtown, the newest eatery in Isla Vista. There’s just something about a sausage that makes our mouths water. Scared and confused turds to the UCSB alert system for its...
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You’re still alive? Neat, I can almost say the same myself. Well, I know you’re busy, it’s okay, we both are. You’re downing your energy drink of choice and highlighting like a...
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Q: I heard that if we don't find a house in January, we will be stuck living in one of the worst places in Isla Vista. Is this true?
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Entering the mind of a man can be a tricky task when it comes to picking the perfect present. This guide is here with a list of fun suggestions to take the stress out of your seasonal shopping this ye...
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The holiday season is truly the most wonderful time of the year. While it can be said that the holidays are a time of hospitality and warmth, gifts are also an inevitable staple of the season. While t...
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We're beyond being "big kids" now; that was in high school. We're adults now. It doesn't make a difference if somebody is going to party on Del Playa Drive, stay at home having some drinks, take a lad...
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I used to wonder if we all go home and have basically the same Thanksgiving. But then, did your non-Scottish uncle show up in a kilt? Were all the pictures taken horizontally? Did your other uncle ask...
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This Thanksgiving was a little different. My family, which emigrated from the Soviet Union, doesn’t usually celebrate Thanksgiving because, apparently, Squanto never helped any Commies. This yea...
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On Thursday, Nov. 19 the scientific community celebrated the 150th anniversary of the publication of Charles Darwin's ground-shaking work, On the Origin of Species. Unfortunately, not everybody was ex...
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Thanksgiving weekend is right around the corner -- and it's sure to be stuffed. Stuffed with turkey, stuffed with pie, stuffed with kamikaze shots with Grandma and, if you have any respect for your be...
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Ride through the bike path without crashing
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Drunk for 24 hours
Bagel crawl
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Finally talk to their class crush
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Graduate
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
