You know what overused saying cracks me up? “Over my dead body.” I mean, your corpse, really? You’re willing to die to protect that last slice of pizza back there? I mean, I’m as enthralled over Domino’s new crust as much as the next Weatherhuman, but I’m not sure I understand forsaking your life for something that silly. For anything, actually. Now William Wallace? HE had something to die for. You know, “They may take our lives but not our freedom.” Which, now that I think of it, is also a dumb saying. I mean, how can you have any freedom left if you’re dead? God damn it, why can’t anybody come up with a saying that makes some friggin’ sense?

Tomorrow’s Forecast: Gauchos all over campus start spreading the word, and the new saying (a perfect reaction to the question of how’s the weather, how you’re feeling, if someone can borrow some money, etc.) is all too clear: “Fuck you.” Perfection.