Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
Vaccines cause autism? Seed oils are bad for you? Raw milk is healthy? Make America Healthy Again (MAHA), Robert Kennedy Jr.’s campaign against scientifically proven American health standards, has s...
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University of California, Santa Barbara? More like California Lottery, Santa Barbara. Following the introduction of a lottery selection process for its Honors Program, Resident Advisor hires, on-campu...
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I have just had the worst day of my life. My crush has been crushed.
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Political Science 155L, UCSB’s long-standing congressional simulation course, was not offered this year for the first time since 2010. The course pits students against each other as members of Congr...
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After 2025’s Deltopia, UCSB’s annual celebration of the beginning of spring quarter, the iconic Del Playa Drive crumbled completely to the ocean. Organizers already anticipate the block party for ...
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For many Gauchos, Deltopia, UC Santa Barbara’s biggest dayge, is the height of the coupling season. Out in the sunlight, all is laid bare for God and Yang to see, leading to many tender moments thro...
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In preparation for Isla Vista’s annual block party, Deltopia, UCSB students have begun littering Del Playa Drive in order to give visitors an authentic taste of Gaucho life. Students have been spott...
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It is common knowledge that the top three floors of UC Santa Barbara’s Library, numbering floors six through eight, are the quiet floors, where speaking or making any sort of noise above slightly ag...
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Not even the ocean can keep you safe from getting slammed with the tire of death, as seen yesterday at Campus Point, when a surfboarder looked up from attempting to ride the tube on 4-foot waves and w...
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Another great Deltopia weekend has come and gone in the sunny streets of Isla Vista. Students poured out this past weekend for the event, bikini-clad for their treks across Del Playa. As early as 4:20...
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“Deltopia” was recently added as a Best Picture nominee at the upcoming Academy Awards ceremony, following public pressure to recognize what The Hollywouldn’t Reporter deemed as “the best film...
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Presidents Day weekend is a sight for sore college student eyes. Coming swiftly after midterms, the three-day weekend was the perfect break for UC Santa Barbara students to relax, taking in all that I...
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Rounding out the final session of pass times, many fourth-years found themselves, for once, at ease. Finally, the first group to get their greedy little hands on classes, mostly everyone was satisfied...
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Every year when Valentine's day finally arrives, the question flooding girl group chats is “What should I get my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day?” It's a challenge to find the perfect gift for a m...
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Love entered my life when I received that text from that unknown number. “Hey Chris, it’s Jared. Just got a new number.” I giggled. Silly Jared, I’m not Chris. I replied to the message, tellin...
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Ride through the bike path without crashing
Find a seat at the red couches on the second floor of the library
Sunrise and sunset dip on the same day
Find parking on Del Playa Drive
Drunk for 24 hours
Bagel crawl
First pick at an Arbor muffin in the morning
Participate in a mosh pit at a band show
Finally talk to their class crush
Get an earlier pass time than their friends in GOLD
Graduate
Successfully walk through I.V. without seeing an old hookup
