Monday … Again

November 24, 2004 by

Why the hell do I have to share space with boneheaded corrections? Weatherhumans never have to correct themselves
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Spike the Cranberry Sauce

November 23, 2004 by

Leave town. Now. Because everyone is. Everyone. Even my neighbor's hamster, seriously. I'm not leaving, mind you. DP on Thanksgiving weekend is as big, if not bigger, than Halloween, but with a smalle...
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Paper Bites Dog

November 22, 2004 by

Every time the Nexus makes a mistake, the 'human kills a puppy.
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Hard Work Pays Off

November 19, 2004 by

Poor A.S. was once again unable to coax more money out of the student body. But don
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Account Ability

November 18, 2004 by

The BA/RC office seems like a pretty competent place, except when it comes to money. They tell me I owe the university a few hundred dollars despite the fact that it owes me a few thousand dollars.
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November 18 – November 25, 2004

November 18, 2004 by

The Associated Students Program Board is presenting another installment of its noon concert series in Storke Plaza. Juliette and the Licks (featuring Hollywood actress Juliette Lewis) will be rockin' ...
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The Speed of Write

November 17, 2004 by

whine whine whine. I have to write a paper about dead people, and I'd rather not. Not that I'd like to write about living people, either, mind you.
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Not Facing the Music

November 17, 2004 by


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Naughty, Naughty…

November 16, 2004 by

If you didn
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But the Benefit Package!

November 15, 2004 by

Popular Science recently ranked anal wart researcher as the worst job in science. This ignores all non-scientific jobs, such as reporter or "provost."
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Surf’s Up… Literally

November 15, 2004 by


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Vote YES YES YES!

November 12, 2004 by

A.S. wants to (not) have your babies. They've been distributing A.S. Initiative propaganda fliers with condoms attached. The connection between giving A.S. more money and having sex is not immediately...
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Suck It for Safety, I.V.

November 10, 2004 by

Aha, so the good citizens of I.V. have parried the Foot Patrol's "fall offensive" with a clever foil, the "fall defensive." I.V. is probably one of the few communities where, if you walk down the stre...
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You’ve Got Nothing to Lose

November 9, 2004 by

If you're involved in fund raising for an organization, A.S. is prepared to help you fuck it all up. Finance Board - which is currently broke - will hold a workshop tomorrow to teach you how to "creat...
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Man Stumbles Into Fatal Car Strike

November 8, 2004 by

A Santa Barbara resident was killed Saturday night after he was run-over by a car traveling near the intersection of Calle Real and El Sueno Road. Mike Allen Dickey, 50, was walking along the 4300 blo...
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