Opinion Editor

April 27, 2011

Dare to Discover Different Flavors of Sexual Deviancy

By Opinion Editor

Sex can be compared to many different things, but I like to compare it to flavors of ice cream. I mean, everyone likes ice cream, right? Just as there is an endless variety of flavors of ice cream, there is similarly an ...

April 25, 2011

Bag Ban Would Break Corporate Inertia and Beach Pollution

By Opinion Editor

Over the past three years, the nonprofits Save the Mermaids, Surfrider, Santa Barbara Channelkeeper and LoaTree have been working to bring the issue of single-use plastic bags in large retail stores before the city counc...

April 25, 2011

Ancient Stoner Warriors Shame Modern Social Straight Edges

By Opinion Editor

There is a village in China that knows the secret to long life: wine and cannabis. Ancient civilizations across the planet knew the various incredible aspects of the cannabis plant and the value of a mind at peace. Moder...

April 18, 2011

Right Said: Dismiss Democrats To Retain Freedom

By Benjamin Parish, Opinion Editor

Instead of discussing A.S elections for the whole column, I would first like to state I will proudly be supporting the only practical and serious slate — O.P.P. (Open People’s Party) — in addition to Beau Shaw. Wit...

January 26, 2011

Legal, Organized Resistance Builds Against SHO

By Opinion Editor

The Social Host Ordinance is here. Like it or not, the I.V. Foot Patrol’s fantasy has come to life. Whether you’ve heard about the ordinance or not, the Foot Patrol is planning on heavily enforcing the new law.

October 27, 2010

Barbara Boxer Deserves Senate Seat Over Fiorina

By Opinion Editor

Young people are undecided and uninformed about the election next week, according to recent polls. Students also have a reputation for being aloof about elections, especially midterm elections.

May 26, 2010

The Hump Addresses Final Sex Questions

By Opinion Editor

Below are a series of questions written by a group of truly sophisticated, resourceful college boys. I’ve been instructed to answer all the questions honestly and without reserve.

May 19, 2010

Seniors Should Reconsider Their Perspective on Underclassmen

By Opinion Editor

“Oh wow, you’re a senior? Man, you’re probably the oldest person here.” Ouch. Like big wooden splinter in the soft spot between your toes kind of ouch.

May 12, 2010

Only the Envious Deem Others “Sluts”

By Opinion Editor

I went to a wedding in Montecito this weekend, and despite my skepticism about happily ever after in your early 20s, I was touched by the couple’s devotion.

May 5, 2010

Avoiding the Dangers of Sexual Dehydration

By Opinion Editor

A couple of weeks ago, I woke up curled comfortably next to one of my best friends. He jolted up, looked at me, and then with a disappointed look on his face, muttered, “Shit, I thought I got laid for a second.”

April 28, 2010

Leftover Lovers Satisfy the Cunning Gourmet

By Opinion Editor

Imagine coming home from a night on the town. You’re hungry, drunk and totally out of food.

April 20, 2010

Do It Like Animals: Enjoy the Thrill of the Hunt

By Opinion Editor

Double the ones, double the fun? This weekend was my co-22nd birthday party, and when six bodacious females throw a rager, guys are inevitably going to show up. Yet, despite the luxurious number of cocks strutting around...

April 13, 2010

Wingmen and Wingwomen Ease the Turbulence

By Opinion Editor

Do you remember the kindergarten friend who taught you how to get all the way across the monkey bars? Or the friend you had in middle school who stuck by you through the tumultuous headgear years? What about a high schoo...

April 7, 2010

Let It All Hang Out in Spring Quarter Free for All

By Opinion Editor

If you never got the memo, Spring Break is just epic preparation for its successor, an annual phenomenon that arrives just in the nick of time: Spring Quarter. For the past three years I've greeted these infamously barba...

April 6, 2010

Let It All Hang Out in Spring Quarter Free for All

By Opinion Editor

If you never got the memo, Spring Break is just epic preparation for its successor, an annual phenomenon that arrives just in the nick of time: Spring Quarter. For the past three years I've greeted these infamously barba...

March 31, 2010

Unofficial Etiquette is of Utmost Importance

By Opinion Editor

In an effort to improve our sewer-classiness to red-light-district-classiness, this week's topic will be a lesson in etiquette. Note: I am in no way insulting spliff-smoking at graduation, 9 a.m. handle pulls of Sailor J...