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Second-Year With Internship Reportedly “Loves Corporate Life”

  Second-year communication major Luke Hampton is spending his summer on the lowest possible rung of the corporate ladder and is having a really awesome time, in case you were wondering. Accordin...
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Extravaganza Sounded Awesome From the Line Three Miles Away!

A series of successful events from A.S. Program Board came to a grinding halt on Sunday when 2019’s Extravaganza was determined to be the biggest clusterfuck in recent memory. It appears that Progra...
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HERO ALERT: Man Goes Down on Woman

ISLA VISTA, CALIFORNIA — A bold and valiant display of heroism took place in the wee hours of Saturday morning when local man Bryce Daniels performed oral sex on his girlfriend Jessica Payton.
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Friendship Manor Planning Rush Events for Alumni Weekend

In eager anticipation for the 2019 UC Santa Barbara Alumni Weekend, Isla Vista’s own retirement home, Friendship Manor, is planning a spring rush in the hopes of gaining pledges in the form of UCSB'...
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Study Abroad Student Only Hooks Up With Other Americans

Much to her surprise and disappointment, third-year study abroad student Kelly Parker has only had sexual encounters with fellow Americans while studying abroad for the semester in Italy.
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