Weather

Ans and Ists

May 14, 2003 by

There's been a lot of hubbub in the news lately about Patriot Act II. Personally, I think the Patriot Acts are just old McCarthy Era legislation that's been dusted off and touched up.
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Cut and Paste

May 13, 2003 by

How many times have you been sitting in the UCen, bored to death, staring over a book that you should be studying, but can’t bring yourself to look at? If I may, I would like to suggest a new UC...
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Post-Mother’s Day Blues

May 12, 2003 by

I sincerely hope that you all had a pleasant Mother's Day. I know you all went home or called or sent nice cards.
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Eeny-meany, Mediany, Mode

May 9, 2003 by

Weatherfriend 1: "They're opening a new statistics department."Weatherfriend 2: "We don't have one?"Weatherfriend 1: "Yes, but we're starting another one."
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Ah, Parking Services, Where Art Thy Sting?

May 8, 2003 by

I was late for an exam yesterday and decided to drive to campus. Being short on time and spare change for a parking pass, I decided to take advantage of one of Parking Services' deluxe $30 spaces.
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It’s Just No Gouda

May 7, 2003 by

Don't eat the cheese. Specifically, don't eat the Tillamook-brand extra-sharp cheddar currently on sale at Vons.
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Up All Night

May 6, 2003 by

I pulled my first all-nighter of the quarter last night. When I tried to take notes in class today, I would look down at the page occasionally and find that I had scribbled down only the first and las...
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Keep Moving and You Won’t Get Hit

May 5, 2003 by

It's about this time of the year that everyone looks forward to moving. You've discovered all of the leaks, splinters and hanging live wires that your apartment has to offer and you can still fantasiz...
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Goods and Services

May 2, 2003 by

The weathercavemates and I are in the habit of playing horrible practical jokes on one another. One of the more original ones involves stealing an unsuspecting 'mate's checkbook and writing naughty th...
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Weapons of Mass Destruction

May 1, 2003 by

Nexus people bet on weird things, like election outcomes or the number of mosquitos we can kill on a given day in our pest-infested office. Today's lead story is the Los Alamos contract. So naturally,...
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Lots of Problems

April 30, 2003 by

I have a problem class. Every time my professor gets frustrated, he relieves his misery by assigning extra homework. Every time he grades our homework, he gets frustrated.
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Democracy in the Balance, Day 2

April 29, 2003 by

Attention students: The true winner of the campus elections is being kept from you. Despite the repeated inquiries by my aides, A.S. refuses to say how many votes I received. They say I didn't pay a f...
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Another election come and gone.

April 28, 2003 by

S.A.C. swept the executive offices and the Gauchoholics tanked harder than a sorority pledge during Rush Week. The question on everyone's mind, though, is why didn't the Weatherhuman win? Something sm...
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Starting to Reign

April 25, 2003 by

That's right. And let's be honest. If you haven't voted by now, then you're not taking the election seriously anyway. So sit your ass down in front of a computer, log on and vote Weatherhuman.
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Earplugs

April 24, 2003 by

I walked into one of our I.V. supermarkets yesterday. Wait, no. Supermarket doesn't seem like the right term...
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