S.A.C. swept the executive offices and the Gauchoholics tanked harder than a sorority pledge during Rush Week.

The question on everyone’s mind, though, is why didn’t the Weatherhuman win? Even after an extensive and intensive button campaign, I still failed to even appear on the A.S. election results press release.

Something smells funny to me. I demand a recount.

Monday’s forecast: Excuse me, but your chad is showing.