I walked into one of our I.V. supermarkets yesterday. Wait, no. Supermarket doesn’t seem like the right term…

“A liquor store that sells bread and condoms.”

How’s that?

At any rate, there I encountered one of the most wretched human beings I’ve set eyes on in my college career.

She looked like she hadn’t slept in three weeks and as I entered, she muttered to the cashier, “Do you sell earplugs?”

Thursday’s forecast: No earplugs, but sympathy from everyone who’s ever had a snoring roommate.