Weather

That Was a Lot of Money Back Then

November 3, 2003 by

Things are never how they appear on Halloween. My companion at an exclusive downtown bar amazed me with their ability to keep up for hours with my rare weatherhuman dance attack.
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Slippery Like a Pissed-On Pig

October 31, 2003 by

Watch your step tonight. There's going to be horses with cop-jockeys stalking the streets of I.V. Personally, I'm not sure how we're going to handle the smell.
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Human In Black

October 30, 2003 by

The weathercomputer is on the fritz once again. The friendly technical support representative diagnosed my grumblings as resulting from a faulty motherboard.
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Weatherfever-Catch It!

October 29, 2003 by

Why do I have to get sick? Why me? What did I do to deserve this? And how will I bring laughter to the masses when I can't even breathe?
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Pre-Marinate For Best Results

October 28, 2003 by

A storm is coming. It's coming from where you're from. It's your friends from back home. And boy, are they jazzed about coming to IV for Halloween.
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Where’s Baldo?

October 27, 2003 by

As sure as there's an American dream, there's an IV dream. Baldo lived it to its depraved extent. He hotboxed FT. He stole booze from the local marts and hats from sorority girls.
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The weatherhuman has been approached by agents of the establishment.

October 24, 2003 by

From: XXX XXXXXXXX of the Alcohol and Other Drug Program: "I was hoping for more insights into the drugs and alcohol scene at UCSB/IV....What would be an effective way to communicate and dialogue with...
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Evel Lives

October 23, 2003 by

Evel Knievel made it to 65 years old this week. I think that sends some great messages to the youth. Break any bone in your body and it will heal. A life of big-time gambling means certain pain and eq...
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Hot Hot ‘Human

October 22, 2003 by

Hot day yesterday, huh? I have trouble getting motivated when it's that hot. I just want to lay outside naked and get drunk and sweaty with someone special.
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And the Truth Shall Set You in Pee

October 21, 2003 by

How about the open letter from the Chancellor about National Collegiate Alcohol Awareness Week? Long, boring and full of statements like "Alcohol abuse directly undercuts the return on your parents' e...
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Why is Money Green?

October 20, 2003 by

What is with the commercials for the new twenty-dollar bill? Why do they need to advertise money? If I can use this new bill to purchase things, I assure you I will use it.
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Please Read the Weatherdegenerate.

October 17, 2003 by

Those swine at the Corner Store charge two dollars for a Bic lighter. I call them gougers and liars--their store isn't even on the corner of anything. Then again, there are a few naming problems on th...
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Dude Here

October 16, 2003 by

I finally saw "Kill Bill." Pretty entertaining, and every bit as violent as they say. I am against just about every form of censorship, and I never buy it when people say that they were compelled to c...
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A Hero Comes Along

October 15, 2003 by

This past weekend the AS President at Berkeley got busted for public drunkenness and fleed from the cops, and our AS President played the hero by convincing a killa-to-be to drop her knife.
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Stay of Execution

October 14, 2003 by

I sat down well prepared to fail a midterm yesterday. I had a solid 40 minutes total study time for the quarter under my belt and the effects of a two-hour nap lingered in my clouded mind.
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