What is with the commercials for the new twenty-dollar bill? Why do they need to advertise money? If I can use this new bill to purchase things, I assure you I will use it.

I hope some people get as excited about the new bills as the lady does at the end of the commercial that breathlessly asks, “Can I have a new twenty, too?”

Yeah, I’ll trade you one new one for two old ones.

The features of the new bill don’t’ really help me out anyway. I won’t care until they can somehow equip twenties with timers that prevent them from vanishing from my wallet within twenty minutes of leaving the ATM.

Monday’s forecast: Let’s just make cash smoke-able and cut out the middleman.