Weather

December 2, 2004

‘Tis Never the Season

By Staff

Finals are almost here... almost. Mine keep almost arriving, but then they get pushed back further into the hazy future by the professor.

November 24, 2004

Monday … Again

By Staff

Why the hell do I have to share space with boneheaded corrections? Weatherhumans never have to correct themselves

November 23, 2004

Spike the Cranberry Sauce

By Staff

Leave town. Now. Because everyone is. Everyone. Even my neighbor's hamster, seriously. I'm not leaving, mind you. DP on Thanksgiving weekend is as big, if not bigger, than Halloween, but with a smaller police presence.

November 22, 2004

Paper Bites Dog

By Staff

Every time the Nexus makes a mistake, the 'human kills a puppy.

November 19, 2004

Hard Work Pays Off

By Staff

Poor A.S. was once again unable to coax more money out of the student body. But don

November 18, 2004

Account Ability

By Staff

The BA/RC office seems like a pretty competent place, except when it comes to money. They tell me I owe the university a few hundred dollars despite the fact that it owes me a few thousand dollars.

November 17, 2004

The Speed of Write

By Staff

whine whine whine. I have to write a paper about dead people, and I'd rather not. Not that I'd like to write about living people, either, mind you.

November 16, 2004

Naughty, Naughty…

By Staff

If you didn

November 15, 2004

But the Benefit Package!

By Staff

Popular Science recently ranked anal wart researcher as the worst job in science. This ignores all non-scientific jobs, such as reporter or "provost."

November 12, 2004

Vote YES YES YES!

By Staff

A.S. wants to (not) have your babies. They've been distributing A.S. Initiative propaganda fliers with condoms attached. The connection between giving A.S. more money and having sex is not immediately clear to me.

November 10, 2004

Suck It for Safety, I.V.

By Staff

Aha, so the good citizens of I.V. have parried the Foot Patrol's "fall offensive" with a clever foil, the "fall defensive." I.V. is probably one of the few communities where, if you walk down the street drunk, the police...

November 9, 2004

You’ve Got Nothing to Lose

By Staff

If you're involved in fund raising for an organization, A.S. is prepared to help you fuck it all up. Finance Board - which is currently broke - will hold a workshop tomorrow to teach you how to "create and sustain your f...

November 5, 2004

Styrofoam Sucks

By Staff

The weathermom sent me a care package, which was nice of course, but the goodies were buried in pieces of my worst enemy: Styrofoam. Nothing sends a shiver up my spine more than Styrofoam.

November 4, 2004

There Goes the Sun

By Staff

I hate it when Daylight Savings Time ends and the sun starts setting right after I wake up. If I'm going to ever see the sun, I need to either wake up earlier or change the angle of the sun relative to the earth, and I'm...

November 3, 2004

Jihad Begins At Home

By Staff

We appear to have elected George W. Bush. I guess this means Americans are opposed to terrorism.

November 2, 2004

Battleground States

By Staff

So the Nexus endorsed John Kerry for president, but I personally disagree. If there's one thing that bugs a weather forecaster, it's unpredictable flip-flopping.