Weather

May 23, 2006

Sacre Bleu

By system

If you're wondering why the skies were painted extra blue yesterday, it's because the 'human has found a new reason to love the French: France's Budget Minister Jean-Francois Cope will soon release "Cyberbudget,"...

May 22, 2006

Guess who?

By system

The 'human was shocked to learn that the Women's Lacrosse team has been suspended for possible hazing. But the photographic evidence found at www.badjocks.com says it all: attractive college-aged girls drinking, smiling ...

May 19, 2006

Trivial Weathergenitals

By system

The ‘human’s head hurts. This goddamn correction is cramping the ‘human’s style. And its head. Tuesday’s forecast: Speaking of cramps, the ‘human’s … shit, not enough space...

May 18, 2006

Welcome to the Machine

By system

Remember back in the day when only the who’s who had cell phones? Now if one cannot get a hold of another’s cell, their lives are in disarray. The ‘human was befuddled when two – that’s righ...

May 17, 2006

Strange Days

By system

The ‘human decided that it was tired of being dark and gloomy and allowed the sun to shine for a short while today. Wednesday’s forecast: Despite the pleasant sun, unfortunately, the weatherhomework doesn&#82...

May 16, 2006

Tequila Sunrise

By system

The ‘human was pleasantly surprised this morning when it read that the store at Buchanan now sells tequila and 30-packs. Much to the ‘human’s chagrin, the whiteboard was wrong. Poor ‘human, poor s...

May 15, 2006

Silly Weather

By system

The ‘human will be the first to admit that the weather has kinda sucked this quarter. Monday’s forecast: Still pissed about overcast skies and this subpar box? Blame the Nexus for all these pesky corrections ...

May 12, 2006

El Taco ‘Humigo

By system

Rest in peace, El Taco Amigo. Your all-day happy hour made those morning classes so much more bearable. The ‘human shall miss thee. Friday’s forecast: The ‘human realizes El Taco Amigo only had its liqu...

May 11, 2006

How Great Thou Ain’t

By system

So the weatherhuman was dumping some weatherwaste in the unisexual bathroom on the seventh floor of the library yesterday afternoon. This unisexual human was doing its best Elvis impersonation loudly. Thursday’s fo...

May 10, 2006

Guns’N’Water

By system

Those crazy Nexus kids are everywhere toting water guns. They think they can threaten the human with their silly water dispensing machines, but wait till the ‘human unloads a record downpour on their silly asses. T...

May 9, 2006

Trivial Weathergenitals

By system

The ‘human’s head hurts. This goddamn correction is cramping the ‘human’s style. And its head. Tuesday’s forecast: Speaking of cramps, the ‘human’s … shit, not enough space...

May 8, 2006

Damaged Goods

By system

The ‘human is pretty sure that it destroyed the weatherliver this weekend. Monday’s forecast: If any unisexual weathercretaures out there have some spare, healthy body parts, the ‘human is now in the ma...

May 5, 2006

Bye, Bye, ‘Human

By system

If you know the ‘human, say goodbye. Because between Cinqo de Mayo and ASVT, there’s no way in hell the ‘human makes it through this weekend. Friday’s forecast: Fuck Friday, the ‘human is fa...

May 4, 2006

Do I Have to?

By system

Why do professors even assign midterms during spring quarter? Thursday’s forecast: Academics are gradually becoming an unnecessary detriment to the ‘human’s bid to be drunk every night this quarter. I&#...

May 3, 2006

Welcome to the Danger Zone

By system

The ‘human was pointed out another facebook folly: a “I’m pretty much determined to fuck whoever writes the ‘weather’ for the Nexus” group exists. Wednesday’s forecast: I admire ...

May 2, 2006