Opinion
In just one day, we managed to pick up 25 large garbage bags worth of trash all along the shores below DP, plus a TV, an old computer, two decomposing mattresses, several plastic chairs and tiki torch...
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I don't know how many times I've heard it said, but if there were a dollar for every time it has been said to me, then a millionaire I would be: "Isla Vista is a cultural black hole/death trap."
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There's just something about trying times that brings out the worst in people. While most would resort to anger or fear, Americans have a distinctive talent for falling back on their ability to be inh...
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The only thing worse than a knee-jerk use of U.S. force is a knee-jerk reaction against the use of force to defend our country.
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After two and a half years at UCSB I am still unsettled by professors using obscenely outdated statistics to make points about gender inequality.
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I turned on CNN this morning. The talking head and an "analyst" loomed over a football field-sized map of Eurasia like a pair of colossi, the analyst pointing to areas of Afghanistan with a red-tipped...
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When the government enlisted top writers, directors and video game designers to help increase national security, people started scratching their heads.
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When I was getting my wisdom teeth pulled two months ago, my dentist commented on how I was "becoming a lady - let me guess! 13?" This leads me to believe that I will have the "FRESHMAN" sign forever ...
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I am not afraid of anthrax; I am afraid of driving, second-hand smoke, AIDS, prostate cancer, smallpox, pneumonia, police brutality, Alzheimer's, heart disease and people who consider L. Ron Hubbard a...
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I don’t get this new female jean style. Massive fading strictly applied to the ass cheeks and thighs make it look like a lot of cowboys ride your saddle. It also looks like you’re going fo...
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In response to Jeff Farrah's ignorant though well-meaning column "U.S. Won Cold War to Free World, Not to Fear Terrorists" (Oct. 17), I would like to propose the following clarifications.
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My fifth-grade class was a lot more competent than A.S. Legislative Council. We got the garbage out of the way early and quickly, so we could move onto the class' important business: eating paste and ...
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There’s a very important piece of legislation going through Congress right now named the USA Act. It would be in your best interest to take the time to learn about it.
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Whenever I interview someone important like a presidential candidate or a celebrity, I don’t imagine them naked. I imagine them with diarrhea. Everyone gets the Runs, even cool people. When you ...
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The six guys in orange vests trying to unclog a Del Playa storm drain today are perfect fractals of all bureaucracy. Five of them supervise. One of them works.
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A werewolf who definitely howled mid make-out
A performative male dressed as Tyler Durden
The mime that somehow made it hot and cool
The ghost of your situationship (no, it’s actually them)
Frat vampire, and your neck will be bleeding
The angel that has definitely never gone out
The literal devil
A prisoner with fake tattoos that you can pretend are real for the night
A sexy cowboy that definitely used the ride line at least four times
A Patrick Bateman who relates a little too much
The witch who asked for your zodiac sign first
A nurse who will leave you needing CPR
