Opinion
You'd be surprised at the topics that pop up around my grandmother's dinner table sometimes. We were discussing my cousin - a man slut if there ever was one - and his new girlfriend.
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TAs are poor and are more important than students. That's right, I said it, you know it's true.
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My crotch is damp right now. Yesterday, I spent $8.75 of the froggypopfund to entertain my clothes at the Laundry Fun Center (“the laundromat” to the fucking idiot). I poured in some deter...
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At a recent meeting of the Fire Chief's Association of Santa Barbara County, chiefs from several agencies and departments discussed the upcoming fire season and what we might expect.
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Thankfully, our good, born-again Christian President Bush decided that a return to Victorian sensibility is just what this nation needs. His first target: public schools.
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As a general rule, I try not to cuss - not in my speech, not in my columns. Am I perfect on either count? Fuck no. But today, I'll make an exception to prove a point.
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I think that the Daily Nexus' coverage of club sports is pathetic. Everyday readers look at the sports page and are constantly reminded of how much our NCAA Division I Teams suck ass.
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Does everyone in I.V. have sex? And if they do are they being safe about it? No, not everyone is having sex, in fact 17 percent of UCSB students do not engage in oral, anal or vaginal sexual intercour...
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It's a shitty job but it's good that someone's going to do it. Some malicious fecal matter is adrift in our oceans and now we're going to know how much is really there.
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When the date approaches and your steely eyed girlfriend wonders just what you have in store for her, you plan. While no man wishes for war or anniversaries, they are thrust upon us for the preservati...
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Researching bioethics issues is fascinating. It's my job. It's a pain in the ass. The problem is that few people in the news media appear to have any idea what they are actually talking about.
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I am retooling the weatherrésumé. I have decided that while there are a lot of things I am very good at, they are not necessarily things I want to advertise.
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The WeatherComputer has been rebelling. It shuts down on its own, runs programs nobody tells it to; it's trying to take control.
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I hate to say it, but I agree with Jonathan Kalinski for once. He was right that in real politics this is how the game is played.
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A werewolf who definitely howled mid make-out
A performative male dressed as Tyler Durden
The mime that somehow made it hot and cool
The ghost of your situationship (no, it’s actually them)
Frat vampire, and your neck will be bleeding
The angel that has definitely never gone out
The literal devil
A prisoner with fake tattoos that you can pretend are real for the night
A sexy cowboy that definitely used the ride line at least four times
A Patrick Bateman who relates a little too much
The witch who asked for your zodiac sign first
A nurse who will leave you needing CPR
