Summer is fast approaching. Freshmen are becoming dropouts or sophomores, sophomores are becoming juniors, juniors seniors and seniors their parents. A yearly cycle is completed, as it has been for years, and probably will continue for years to come. Hopefully, though, we could say that with each year, we get a little better at this thing we call putting up with each other. So, for your consideration, here are a few suggestions on how all of us could make next year a little better for everybody.

First is a little hint for the ladies (and possibly even some fellas): Wear clothes that fit. Pull up the ol’ size zero shorts, suck up the gut, button, zip and breath. Pull on the XS little T-shirt, squeeze through the ridiculously tiny body and struggle into the arms. Now, look down. If there is more than a one-inch bulge sticking out directly above the belt and below the shirt, buy some bigger clothes and drop the delusions. On the other hand, of course, exercise would help, too. But only regular exercise combined with a healthy diet, not anorexia.

I repeat: not anorexia! Exercising nonstop isn’t the thing to do. Everybody knows who’s being talked about here. Athletics are great, don’t get me wrong, but vanity on the verge of obsession? Bad. In extreme cases, unhealthy. Secondly, if the only purpose of those muscles is to distract girls from the fact that you’re staring at their breasts and unable to communicate in a way more advanced than a chimpanzee, then just go back home and watch some more UPN.

There are also the dudes walking around I.V. with bats. And they’re not playing baseball. Yeah, you’ve all seen them. Rolling around trying to look all threatening-like. Now, we can all understand issues with aggression, but for God’s sake, you look like demented seventh graders looking to play frog baseball. Violence may be the answer sometimes, but it should never be the opening statement.

Drug dealers sometimes beg the question for which violence is the answer. Maybe those big dudes with no shirts and metal bats are looking for you because the coke you sold them was actually three-fourths Ajax. Or, maybe the herb was Tijuana quality at Humboldt prices. If these things are indeed the case, you deserve a bat in the face (or at least a hearty scolding).

What would make everyone’s life easier is honesty in the ungoverned world of the drug trade. Otherwise, shirtless dudes with bats are the cops and you’re the robbers. Good luck with that.

All right, enough already. I’m done with my whining, but it could be of some use. I tried to provide solutions to the problems I pointed out. Hell, these things are probably in some way society’s fault, not any of yours. But the second you know what’s going on and yet refuse to see it, it is your fault. This is university life; we need to start correcting society’s mistakes, not furthering the problems. Vanity equals bad. Dishonesty and violence? Also bad. Fraternities and Sororities? Only bad when occasional bad eggs make them so. Buying one’s friends? Bad. I think we can all agree on these things and, in doing this, could make the world better.

Peace.

Cory Anthony is a sophomore English major and assistant layout and design editor at the Daily Nexus. Don’t hate anybody, but enjoy the game.