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Living Without Vowels: Pick Your Stereotype

Lovers of great literature stay away; there's a new book on the market geared toward the common people, the good people, the cut-your-lip-on-a-can-of-Natty-Ice people.
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This House is Clean

It's here: the last real Friday of the quarter. Students across campus will soon go grudgingly from hitting the bottle to hitting the books
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Hypocritical Column Shows Ignorance Goes Both Ways

This column is in response to a column by Josef Liles and Zahira Navarrette. I am a white male student, and their column deeply offended me and many people I know.
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A Tax Cut Below the Belt

I'm sick of hearing about Iraq. Every time I open up a newspaper or turn on the news, all I hear about are weapons inspectors, military bases, the new color-coded terrorist threats.
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It’s Not Working

I have divided the remainder of my quarter into "real work" and "fake work."In a way, I'm just being honest with myself. I never study for my last final and I invariably scribble out my last paper. Th...
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The Name of the Game Isn’t Exploitation

While class was hopping on last week, a few of us noticed a plethora of sombreros floating around campus on the heads and backs of several vanilla people. According to data from the 2001-02 school yea...
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Wow, I Sure Am Bare-Assed

My roommate decided to go celebrate Mardi Gras this last weekend in New Orleans. Admittedly, my only real experience with the celebration is limited to "Girls Gone Wild" videos taped on Bourbon Street...
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Can’t Buy Me Love

It's a good day for dildos, furry handcuffs and American values. On Tuesday, Victoria's Secret - merchants of bras and panties modeled by pointy-chinned, giraffe-necked women with IQs roughly equal to...
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Backpack Ban Just More of That U.S. Strategery

Campus Police recently released a statement, distributed to all campus organizations by the Office of Student Life, requesting that organizations ban backpacks from events and post visible security in...
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There’s No Reason Why Only Christians Should Suffer for Lent

The use of Yiddish to describe a solemn Christian tradition might seem out-of-place. However, as Christian-specific a holiday as today might be, its theme of sacrifice spans faiths.
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UCSB Students Should Take Part in Isla Vista Master Plan Meetings

As some of you may know, there's something going on in Isla Vista called the Master Plan. For over a year, a committee has been meeting to decide the future look of I.V.
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Drugstore Cowboy: The War on Finals Week

I don't plan to still be a passenger when this ship goes down, but I do plan on having a bachelor's degree in English. Which requires, in my case, finishing three more quarters of Chinese after this o...
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Make-up Work

Don't ditch class. Kerr Hall is a scary place. At 10 o'clock at night the building is dark and creepy. It looks something like an old castle in the moonlight. All the windows are dark.
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On March 5, Walk out of Class and Into an Anti-War Protest

The newly formed Student Coalition for Peace calls on UCSB students to join hundreds of other college campuses and participate in the national one-day student strike on March 5, 2003. We believe that ...
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