Opinion

September 23, 2003

Birthday Beatdown

By Staff

Funny how people feel the need to get you ridiculously shitfaced on your birthday. Each year we embark on a new journey, and the first steps taken are wobbly ones.

September 23, 2003

The Artful Dodger: A GOLDen Shower for All

By Drew Mackie

Normally, if I said so-and-so went down on me and didn't come up all night, I'd get a high five. But when the so-and-so that started to blow has the initials G-O-L-D, the result complicates my life considerably.

September 23, 2003

Knight Jousts with Queers on Prop. 22

By Steven Ruszczycky

Republican State Senator Pete Knight issued a challenge Monday to the Domestic Partners Rights and Responsibilities Act of 2003, previously AB 205, signed into law by our very own Gray Davis on Sept. 19.

September 22, 2003

Hugo Was the Best I Ever Had

By Staff

The winds of change have blown hard all summer. The governor is soon to be replaced by a murderous-but-popular machine from the future, and Karl Malone is on the Lakers.

September 22, 2003

Don’t Cry for Me, Manzanita

By Daily Nexus Editorial Board

Shiny, spacious and still smelling like new, Manzanita Village is the Carnival cruise liner of UCSB's dorms. San Miguel, conversely, is like a canoe with a broken paddle floating in a sewage treatment pond.

September 22, 2003

Children of Abraham Shouldn’t Stand for Crass Commercialism

By David Markowitz

ritten on their banner at their table was something I found totally disgusting. The banner said, "Just Jew it," and had the Nike Swoosh superimposed over the Star of David. So, does Nike sponsor G-d now?

September 22, 2003

Finacial Aid or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Beaurocracy

By Travis Cannell

Demanding money is getting harder and harder these days. Back when the bipolar stock market was in one of its manic swings, it was a different story. Nowadays, in our war-torn, misguided and generally messed up governmen...

September 22, 2003

Have Fun in Isla Vista, But Just Please Don’t Be Little Jackasses

By Bob Craig

We fell in love with the surroundings and lifestyle, and have been fortunate enough to make a living in this little slice of paradise. We welcome you with open arms and wish you the best of luck with your educational car...

September 19, 2003

Summer Is for Lovers, Fall Is for Students

By Staff

Loop up. Now. Because this is as pretty as UCSB will be all year. And I'm not talking about the flowers.

September 19, 2003

Planning Your Future

By Cory Anthony

To call Isla Vista a dilapidated, overcrowded and overpriced slum would be, well, a bit of an understatement. The phrase "student ghetto" comes to mind. Apparently the technical term is "blighted."

September 19, 2003

The Sound and the Furious

By Jamie Morrow

Despite being in Greece for a good chunk of the summer, I've already begun to learn a lot about apartment living, or at least apartment living with three other girls.

September 19, 2003

Surreal Summer: Sunny California Loses Its Grip on Reality

By Drew Mackie

Never has the question "What the hell happened?" been so apt. It's like California suffered the Attack of the Thousand Subleasers. Now we're all left to vacuum up all the crazy remnants of this surreally sloppy summer.

September 19, 2003

Potentially Damaging Initiative Demands Students’ Attention

By Henry T. Yang

With elections approaching, I wanted to take this opportunity to address some questions I have been receiving from students and other members of our campus community regarding Proposition 54, the Classification by Race, ...

June 25, 2003

Drugstore Cowboy: Governor Schwarzenegger

By Cory Anthony

"Can you spell that one more time, Mr. Governor?"I can already see the veins in Arnie's massive neck bulging, prompting similar action in his forehead. "I already spelled it 10 times: S-C-H-W-A-R-Z-E-N-E-G-G-E-R."

June 25, 2003

Sinking to the Shallowest Depths

By Staff

In these troubled times for starship earth, it is reassuring to think that our own UCSB is looking out for the future. While it could confine itself to mere education, it is working to solve the problem of overpopulation...

June 25, 2003

Why My Potential Employer Would Want My Urine on Her Hands

By Travis Hunter

I'm not supposed to be stressing during summertime. That's a rule. But now I've got something on my mind. I'm not happy about it. I decided I needed a little walking-around cash, so I immediately sought out the most part...