Why Does It Happen?
The weatherhuman, despite some suspicions, is ultimately human. It is capable of triumphant glee, yet sorrow is also one of its fundamental faculties. The weatherhuman and its co-workers are terribly ...
read more
Opinion
The weatherhuman, despite some suspicions, is ultimately human. It is capable of triumphant glee, yet sorrow is also one of its fundamental faculties. The weatherhuman and its co-workers are terribly ...
read more
Anyone who has stepped on campus recently must have noticed the insane amount of construction in progress. Everywhere you turn, there's another gigantic hole in the ground, or the steel skeleton of s...
read more
I watched a lot of television when I was a kid. My favorite show was "G.I. Joe." This program taught me almost everything I know about life. It taught me that it's okay to run around firing machine gu...
read more
This is the story of a man and his dog. Actually it is about one bitter senior and his small absent-minded schnauzer. What is on my mind is the recent and obnoxious influx of people back to this beaut...
read more
Staring red-eyed and perplexed into the gigantic black board, I realized of all the places in the world right now, this was where I wanted to be. It didn't matter that it was 2 a.m. or that I had just...
read more
Ah, back-to-school season. Before college, going to back to school was the worst time of year. It meant the end of warm, lazy days spent doing nothing at the beach.
read more
In my girlfriend's defense, I am rarely online. But I would like to expose what a degree from UCSB gets you these days. Her name is Dina Vainer, and yes, I promised her I would keep her identity ambig...
read more
Irishmen. They're everywhere, as you may now be aware. They're in our bars, our fat houses and our morning coffee. Clearly, the end of the world is upon us.
read more
For those of you reading this, chances are you are lucky enough to have made the correct decision to stay for the summer in our slum of a utopia -- or is it the other way around?
read more
Sellout! "Deep Throat" reveals his identity, and now here it is the end of the year, we have a new staff, I'm leaving, and perhaps you expect me to reveal mine too.
read more
Pathetic, flaky poop to the Faculty Legislature for its members' dismal attendance of the meeting to vote on the future of military recruiters on campus.
read more
It was while lying on a white, linen-covered aesthetician's table on State Street last Thursday when I realized that Santa Barbara was no longer the place for me. For the three years I had gone to sch...
read more