October is always the most demanding time of the year for the ‘human. Not only are there countless birthdays to be recognized (happy B-Day little ‘human bro), there is the Major League Baseball playoffs, football and the heart of the UCSB women’s volleyball season. It’s tough to prioritize, considering the pants of all participants are of tantamount tautness. The ‘human salutes you, inventor of elasticity, for your rigid adherence to form. And also, the ‘human would like to give a grandiose sendoff to his own productivity for a month.

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