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Where Did the Violence Go?

I watched a lot of television when I was a kid. My favorite show was "G.I. Joe." This program taught me almost everything I know about life. It taught me that it's okay to run around firing machine gu...
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Take Two

Two issues in and already two corrections. The
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Student Influx Leaves Schnauzers Unsafe

This is the story of a man and his dog. Actually it is about one bitter senior and his small absent-minded schnauzer. What is on my mind is the recent and obnoxious influx of people back to this beaut...
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A Summary for Slackers

Because it
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Thursday or Bust

Did you know that today is the first day of autumn? It
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Learning Life Lessons at Freebirds

Staring red-eyed and perplexed into the gigantic black board, I realized of all the places in the world right now, this was where I wanted to be. It didn't matter that it was 2 a.m. or that I had just...
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Welcome Back to Your Nine-Month Vacation

Ah, back-to-school season. Before college, going to back to school was the worst time of year. It meant the end of warm, lazy days spent doing nothing at the beach.
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What a UCSB Degree Gets You

In my girlfriend's defense, I am rarely online. But I would like to expose what a degree from UCSB gets you these days. Her name is Dina Vainer, and yes, I promised her I would keep her identity ambig...
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Chuck of the Irish

Irishmen. They're everywhere, as you may now be aware. They're in our bars, our fat houses and our morning coffee. Clearly, the end of the world is upon us.
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Nothing Beats an Endless Slummer

For those of you reading this, chances are you are lucky enough to have made the correct decision to stay for the summer in our slum of a utopia -- or is it the other way around?
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Goodbye, Weatherfriends

Sellout! "Deep Throat" reveals his identity, and now here it is the end of the year, we have a new staff, I'm leaving, and perhaps you expect me to reveal mine too.
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Poop and Posies

Pathetic, flaky poop to the Faculty Legislature for its members' dismal attendance of the meeting to vote on the future of military recruiters on campus.
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Bedhead Diaries: A Glamorous Goodbye

It was while lying on a white, linen-covered aesthetician's table on State Street last Thursday when I realized that Santa Barbara was no longer the place for me. For the three years I had gone to sch...
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It’s Not Gaucho Sports Without the Fans

Over the past several days, there has been a healthy amount of press from the Nexus following up the successful year of the men's soccer program. In reading these articles, it dawned on me that little...
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The 2004-2005 Nexus Opinion Page: So What Did You Say?

"Those who resist will be humanely concentrated in several camps and then taught by example how human rights are respected by superior, democratic countries." --"With Bush at the Helm, America Will On...
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