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What a UCSB Degree Gets You

In my girlfriend's defense, I am rarely online. But I would like to expose what a degree from UCSB gets you these days. Her name is Dina Vainer, and yes, I promised her I would keep her identity ambig...
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Chuck of the Irish

Irishmen. They're everywhere, as you may now be aware. They're in our bars, our fat houses and our morning coffee. Clearly, the end of the world is upon us.
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Nothing Beats an Endless Slummer

For those of you reading this, chances are you are lucky enough to have made the correct decision to stay for the summer in our slum of a utopia -- or is it the other way around?
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Goodbye, Weatherfriends

Sellout! "Deep Throat" reveals his identity, and now here it is the end of the year, we have a new staff, I'm leaving, and perhaps you expect me to reveal mine too.
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Poop and Posies

Pathetic, flaky poop to the Faculty Legislature for its members' dismal attendance of the meeting to vote on the future of military recruiters on campus.
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Bedhead Diaries: A Glamorous Goodbye

It was while lying on a white, linen-covered aesthetician's table on State Street last Thursday when I realized that Santa Barbara was no longer the place for me. For the three years I had gone to sch...
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It’s Not Gaucho Sports Without the Fans

Over the past several days, there has been a healthy amount of press from the Nexus following up the successful year of the men's soccer program. In reading these articles, it dawned on me that little...
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The 2004-2005 Nexus Opinion Page: So What Did You Say?

"Those who resist will be humanely concentrated in several camps and then taught by example how human rights are respected by superior, democratic countries." --"With Bush at the Helm, America Will On...
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Drugstore Cowboy: One Final Ride Into the Sunset

Here it is: sitting with a cup of $6 whiskey (Canadian Springs from Rite Aid, $6 for a 750), writing the old fare-thee-well column. In my mind, it starts something like this: It was the best of times,...
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Head: ¡Viva Las Vegas!

Yeehaww, the Nexus is going to Vegas! Forecasting the weather is a lot like gambling, so I expect to clean up. And by clean up, I'm referring to the mess that will result from cramming a dozen people ...
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BFA Major Bogusly Dismissed

Many people at this university take their education for granted. This is hard to do, however, once your right to an education as a student has been taken away from you. This is what has happened to a ...
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Watch Where You Tread, Biker Laws Have a Purpose

Lately it seems that one of the more common topics I have been asked about is the increase in bicycle enforcement at UCSB. Some people are happy about us being out there enforcing the rules and encour...
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If Facing Depression, Don’t Be Shy, Give Student Health a Try

If you have been battling feelings of depression, hopefully our last article convinced you to seek help. The aim of that article was to stress how important it is to get help and that there are multip...
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The Artful Dodger: Turning in the Decoder Ring

During my five years at UCSB, the phrase "last quarter" always referred to the previous quarter - as in, "Jeez, my grades went down the toilet last quarter." Recently, however, I realized that these t...
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Minty Not-So-Fresh

Bleghck. Girl Scout cookies don
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