Opinion

April 2, 2008

Never Gonna Get This Song Out of My Head

By Staff

After overhearing a complete moron tell his friend that the Weather wasn't funny yesterday, I couldn't help but be amazed at how many people forget about April Fools Day each year.

April 2, 2008

‘Free’ Society Is Still Shackled by Labels

By Megan Lucero

Why is it so appealing to go to the zoo to see beautiful creatures bound up in cages? My explanation is we relate unconsciously to these animals because likewise, society has put each of us into similar cages.

April 2, 2008

Hot Game Offers Drinks on the Rock

By Ray Collins

Rock Band? Rock Band. Yes, the stuff of legends is now at your fingertips. And what better way to prove your worth as a rock star than incorporate drinking into your game.

April 2, 2008

Economic Lesson Calculates Advantages of Capitalism

By Joseph Rizek

On my desk lies a graphing calculator. With this device I am able to perform complex mathematical calculations almost instantly. All of the laborious and time-consuming arithmetic is computed by the internal processor an...

April 2, 2008

Think!

By Staff

April 1, 2008

Turds and Tulips

By Staff

Sprightly, adventurous tulips to the Gaucho who rock climbed up Storke Tower. You didn't leave us hanging for a moment, as you explained how to belay without ropes.

April 1, 2008

Weather

By Staff

This article appeared as part of the Nexus’ April Fools’ edition. Tuesday’s Forecast: Partly cloudy, with a high of 62 degrees and a low of 45.

April 1, 2008

He Said, She Said

By Betty England and Scoot Diamond and the Albino Raccoon

So, the other night I totally hooked up with this guy. Yeah, like, toootally hooked up. And I thought he liked me, but then he totally kicked me out at the end of the night. And I was like, "Wait, what?" And he just tota...

April 1, 2008

Gauchoscopes: Where the Zodiac Meets the Beach

By Staff Writer

Astrological signs...

April 1, 2008

Comics Is Funny!

By Madelaine Frezza Daily Nexus

March 31, 2008

Friends Fly Miserably

By Staff

Since those of us who aren’t poor just spent the week traveling, let’s focus on the biggest scam in travel these days: Southwest Airlines’ policy of open seating. It’s a complete madhouse. People ...

March 31, 2008

Facelifted Farm Nixes Using Green Latrines

By Eric Broberg

As a local boy with fond memories of traipsing about Fairview Gardens, I am outraged by the "improvements" foisted upon the organic farm by the Goleta Planning Commission and "dismayed" neighbors.

March 31, 2008

‘Party School’ Reps More Than Fools

By Mana Mostatabi

For the past four years, disclosing my academic institution to others has often resulted in the same judgmental reaction: "UCSB is a party school, isn't it?"

March 10, 2008

I Hate Whoever Complained Today

By Staff

Nice of the corrections people to steal my final box of the quarter (a-holes…). Now I can’t even say a real goodbye as we all head for spring break. To those of you smart enough to find me on Facebook: Congra...

March 10, 2008

Staff Editorial: Turds and Tulips

By Staff

Bright, presidential tulips to Hillary Clinton for taking the time to speak at UCSB before Super Tuesday. We wish we could have shown you Del Playa Drive.

March 10, 2008

Focus on Flustering Finals as Quarter Comes to a Close

By Mana Mostatabi

The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and spring is hovering over many of us like a cloud of THC-imbued smoke. Oh, and daylight savings started on Sunday, resulting in a greater amount of sunlight we hard-working co...