Opinion

April 4, 2008

Take a Deep Breath, It Will be OK

By David Rabie

Take a deep breath. How often do you hear people saying that when you are stressed or angry? Simply breathing in and out slowly can relieve your stress and make you infinitely more level-headed. Ninety-nine percent of th...

April 4, 2008

Loser Libs Forge a Path for Mighty Mac

By Zac Gates

Goodness gracious, the tides are beginning to turn! Good news, fellow conservatives: The Democratic Party is on the verge of implosion.

April 4, 2008

Drink

By Staff

April 3, 2008

They Tell Me It’s Not a Recession

By Staff

According to The New York Times, major retail stores like Best Buy, Circuit City and Home Depot are more open to "haggling" with customers because of low prices on the Internet and a sluggish economy. There's a joke in t...

April 3, 2008

Hypocrisy Clouds Parental Advice

By Jeff Gibson

"Well, I'm thinking about finding a place in Pacifica. I hear it's really foggy, but at least the rent's cheaper." "You'll fit in perfectly, son. You've been growing up your whole life in a fog."

April 3, 2008

Hillary Refuses to Go Down Without Fight

By Eric Goldman

Sen. Hillary Clinton may have her back to the ropes in her primary contest against Sen. Barack Obama, but she isn't going down for the count.

April 3, 2008

Think!

By Staff

April 2, 2008

Spring Break Embraces Lewd Nudes

By Dana Olsen

I have never had sex on Spring Break. That confession isn't meant to negate my credibility - in fact, it's supposed to do just the opposite.

April 2, 2008

Never Gonna Get This Song Out of My Head

By Staff

After overhearing a complete moron tell his friend that the Weather wasn't funny yesterday, I couldn't help but be amazed at how many people forget about April Fools Day each year.

April 2, 2008

‘Free’ Society Is Still Shackled by Labels

By Megan Lucero

Why is it so appealing to go to the zoo to see beautiful creatures bound up in cages? My explanation is we relate unconsciously to these animals because likewise, society has put each of us into similar cages.

April 2, 2008

Hot Game Offers Drinks on the Rock

By Ray Collins

Rock Band? Rock Band. Yes, the stuff of legends is now at your fingertips. And what better way to prove your worth as a rock star than incorporate drinking into your game.

April 2, 2008

Economic Lesson Calculates Advantages of Capitalism

By Joseph Rizek

On my desk lies a graphing calculator. With this device I am able to perform complex mathematical calculations almost instantly. All of the laborious and time-consuming arithmetic is computed by the internal processor an...

April 2, 2008

Think!

By Staff

April 1, 2008

Turds and Tulips

By Staff

Sprightly, adventurous tulips to the Gaucho who rock climbed up Storke Tower. You didn't leave us hanging for a moment, as you explained how to belay without ropes.

April 1, 2008

Weather

By Staff

This article appeared as part of the Nexus’ April Fools’ edition. Tuesday’s Forecast: Partly cloudy, with a high of 62 degrees and a low of 45.

April 1, 2008

He Said, She Said

By Betty England and Scoot Diamond and the Albino Raccoon

So, the other night I totally hooked up with this guy. Yeah, like, toootally hooked up. And I thought he liked me, but then he totally kicked me out at the end of the night. And I was like, "Wait, what?" And he just tota...