News

U.S. Army nukes the Philippines

April 1, 2002 by

A U.S. salvage team has found the remains of five American servicemen killed in the Army helicopter which accidentally dropped a nuclear bomb while participating in a counter-terrorism drill in the so...
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ZZ Top held at Guantanamo Bay

April 1, 2002 by

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan (AP) - The first planeload of ZZ Top bandmembers and their bearded fans departed from a Marine base at Kandahar's airport Sunday night and was flown to a U.S. military detention ...
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Marklar expects Marklar to introduce marklar

April 1, 2002 by

Marklar (AP) - President Marklar renewed his appeal for a marklar stimulus marklar Marklar as part of his 2003 marklar that proposes $591 billion in new marklar reductions, including a permanent exten...
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Bush declares LA Lakers World Champions prior to playoffs

April 1, 2002 by

Washington, D.C. (AP) - President Bush declared the Los Angeles Lakers the 2002 NBA World Champions on Sunday, in order to keep the nation focused on the War on Terrorism.(c)
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Argument between homeless and IVRPD resolves to remain unresolved

April 1, 2002 by

After two months of ugly haggling, the Isla Vista Recreation and Parks District and local homeless advocates reached an agreement to go on arguing forever. The plan resolves everything by resolving ab...
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Martha Stewart comes out as replicant, reproduces asexually

April 1, 2002 by

Television hostess Martha Stewart - America's ideal stay-at-home mommy - became a mother on national television yesterday when she asexually birthed her own offspring.
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Hampton epiphany: ‘I am an idiot’

April 1, 2002 by

He was sitting on the toilet, captured in the moment, hands whirling and pumping like a small engine, when it happened: our illustrious and athletic Associated Students President, Brian Hampton, came ...
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Recall Foes Blast Tactics

March 8, 2002 by

The No On Recall Committee announced its legal strategy to stop the recall election intended to oust 3rd District Supervisor Gail Marshall from office yesterday - the same day its opponents delivered ...
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IVRPD Votes to Allow Overnight Sleeping

March 8, 2002 by

The Isla Vista Recreation and Parks District decided to draft an ordinance Thursday night that would allow sleeping, but not camping, in I.V. parks.
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Anderson May Still Face Runoff Against Dorsey

March 8, 2002 by

Although Commander Jim Anderson won the majority of the votes for Santa Barbara County Sheriff election night, the absentee ballots have not yet been counted -- which means the sheriff may have to fac...
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Bourdakis’ Parents To Donate Scholarship

March 8, 2002 by

As a tribute to their son's love for geography, Nick Bourdakis' parents decided to donate memorial contributions toward a student scholarship for undergraduates in the UCSB Geography Dept.
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Panel Explores Evolution Theories

March 8, 2002 by

Three prominent evolutionary scholars held a discussion in Corwin Pavilion yesterday that added two hours to the long, controversial debate over evolutionary theory.
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UC Briefs: March 8, 2002

March 8, 2002 by

The models — built from Lego bricks, a computer chip and thermal motion and optical sensors — will search for ice. "It makes me want to go into aerospace engineering even more than before....
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Judge Denies Motion in Attias Case

March 7, 2002 by

Santa Barbara Superior Court Judge Thomas Adams denied a motion by murder suspect David Attias' defense attorneys Wednesday to suppress evidence collected by the California Highway Patrol.
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IVRPD To Consider No-Camping Law

March 7, 2002 by

Isla Vista Recreation and Parks District board members will negotiate a no-camping ordinance at their meeting Thursday night - a law they assumed already existed under Santa Barbara County law.
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