Staff

November 23, 2004

Spike the Cranberry Sauce

By Staff

Leave town. Now. Because everyone is. Everyone. Even my neighbor's hamster, seriously. I'm not leaving, mind you. DP on Thanksgiving weekend is as big, if not bigger, than Halloween, but with a smaller police presence.

November 22, 2004

Paper Bites Dog

By Staff

Every time the Nexus makes a mistake, the 'human kills a puppy.

November 19, 2004

Hard Work Pays Off

By Staff

Poor A.S. was once again unable to coax more money out of the student body. But don

November 18, 2004

Account Ability

By Staff

The BA/RC office seems like a pretty competent place, except when it comes to money. They tell me I owe the university a few hundred dollars despite the fact that it owes me a few thousand dollars.

November 18, 2004

November 18 – November 25, 2004

By Staff

The Associated Students Program Board is presenting another installment of its noon concert series in Storke Plaza. Juliette and the Licks (featuring Hollywood actress Juliette Lewis) will be rockin' out from noon to 1 p...

November 17, 2004

The Speed of Write

By Staff

whine whine whine. I have to write a paper about dead people, and I'd rather not. Not that I'd like to write about living people, either, mind you.

November 17, 2004

Not Facing the Music

By Staff

November 16, 2004

Naughty, Naughty…

By Staff

If you didn

November 15, 2004

But the Benefit Package!

By Staff

Popular Science recently ranked anal wart researcher as the worst job in science. This ignores all non-scientific jobs, such as reporter or "provost."

November 15, 2004

Surf’s Up… Literally

By Staff

November 12, 2004

Vote YES YES YES!

By Staff

A.S. wants to (not) have your babies. They've been distributing A.S. Initiative propaganda fliers with condoms attached. The connection between giving A.S. more money and having sex is not immediately clear to me.

November 10, 2004

Suck It for Safety, I.V.

By Staff

Aha, so the good citizens of I.V. have parried the Foot Patrol's "fall offensive" with a clever foil, the "fall defensive." I.V. is probably one of the few communities where, if you walk down the street drunk, the police...

November 9, 2004

You’ve Got Nothing to Lose

By Staff

If you're involved in fund raising for an organization, A.S. is prepared to help you fuck it all up. Finance Board - which is currently broke - will hold a workshop tomorrow to teach you how to "create and sustain your f...

November 8, 2004

Man Stumbles Into Fatal Car Strike

By Staff

A Santa Barbara resident was killed Saturday night after he was run-over by a car traveling near the intersection of Calle Real and El Sueno Road. Mike Allen Dickey, 50, was walking along the 4300 block of Calle Real in ...

November 8, 2004

Brush with the Beach

By Staff

November 5, 2004

Styrofoam Sucks

By Staff

The weathermom sent me a care package, which was nice of course, but the goodies were buried in pieces of my worst enemy: Styrofoam. Nothing sends a shiver up my spine more than Styrofoam.