Staff

April 1, 2002

What’s gone wrong in Montecito

By Staff

Crabgrass. Leased Lexuses. Mid-priced wine. Turgid brie. Gas-powered leaf-blowers shattering the morning silence. Un-neutered dogs mating in the streets. When you add it all up, it has some Montecitans wondering what's g...

April 1, 2002

Hello, its Me, God. Listen up, suckers.

By Staff

Hey everybody.God here. Thought I'd use my mystical power of divine intervention on this, the day following the passion of my humanish kid, Jesus.

April 1, 2002

Serious issues facing our fraternities

By Staff

Dude, brahs, sup?

April 1, 2002

U.S. Army nukes the Philippines

By Staff

A U.S. salvage team has found the remains of five American servicemen killed in the Army helicopter which accidentally dropped a nuclear bomb while participating in a counter-terrorism drill in the southern Philippines,a...

April 1, 2002

ZZ Top held at Guantanamo Bay

By Staff

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan (AP) - The first planeload of ZZ Top bandmembers and their bearded fans departed from a Marine base at Kandahar's airport Sunday night and was flown to a U.S. military detention camp in Cuba, a spok...

April 1, 2002

Marklar expects Marklar to introduce marklar

By Staff

Marklar (AP) - President Marklar renewed his appeal for a marklar stimulus marklar Marklar as part of his 2003 marklar that proposes $591 billion in new marklar reductions, including a permanent extension of last marklar...

April 1, 2002

Bush declares LA Lakers World Champions prior to playoffs

By Staff

Washington, D.C. (AP) - President Bush declared the Los Angeles Lakers the 2002 NBA World Champions on Sunday, in order to keep the nation focused on the War on Terrorism.(c)

April 1, 2002

feature photo: Godzilla visits campus

By Staff

Editor’s Note: This story is from the April Fool’s issue of the Daily Nexus.

March 8, 2002

(No Ducks Were Actually Harmed)

By Staff

The ducks seem more nervous in I.V. These ducks seem to sense a preditorial threat.

March 8, 2002

Sports Feature Photo: Setting It Up

By Staff

The UCSB men's volleyball team earned a four-game win Thursday night at Long Beach, defeating the No. 12 49ers. The Gauchos will return to action tonight in San Diego against UCSD.

March 8, 2002

UC Briefs: March 8, 2002

By Staff

The models — built from Lego bricks, a computer chip and thermal motion and optical sensors — will search for ice. "It makes me want to go into aerospace engineering even more than before."

March 7, 2002

Liquid Death From the Heavens

By Staff

It rained today, confusing many, and wetting everyone. Rain is mothernature's assassin.

March 7, 2002

Sports Feature Photo: That’s Why It’s Called a Jump Shot

By Staff

Junior forward Mark Hull and the UCSB men's basketball team begin play in the Big West Tournament tonight at the Anaheim Convention Center against Central Coast rival Cal Poly.

March 7, 2002

Feature Photo: ‘Take a Look, It’s in a Book’

By Staff

Senior CCS literature major Reagan Wilson displays her piece in the Please Take Your Hands Off My Spine show, running March 6-8 in the Arts Building Gallery 1434.

March 7, 2002

KCSB Top Ten Rock

By Staff

Week ending 3/8/02 1) Thrice | The Illusion of Safety | Sub City 2) Karp | Action Chemistry | Punk In My Vitamins 3) The Plan | Only These Movements Remain | Matlock/Rewika 4) Various Artists | The Thing That Ate Floyd |...

March 7, 2002

March 7, 2002 – March 13, 2002

By Staff

Thursday: Who needs modern rock and all the flava? Arts & Lectures presents the National Song and Dance Company of Mozambique tonight in Campbell Hall. Making its U.S. debut in 1998, the company has been charming au...