Loren Willams

November 23, 2004

Damn Skippy: Death is Overrated; Just Torture ‘Em

By Loren Willams

I can't express how glad I am that the elections are over. This is the time when we, as Americans, can finally put down our defenses and relax without being bombarded by propaganda.

November 9, 2004

Damn Skippy: Post-Election Hangover

By Loren Willams

The results of last Tuesday's elections have Democrats running with their pointy tails between their legs. Of course, it is natural to stop and reflect on what went wrong for them. Now is as good a time as any to do that...

October 27, 2004

Damn Skippy: Ignorance Is Bliss – If You’re a Righty

By Loren Willams

I am not a huge fan of the United States' two-party electoral system. Having only two viable parties polarizes the country and creates awkward spoiler scenarios. I am convinced, though, that the worst part of our two-par...

October 19, 2004

Damn Skippy: Bondage Is Not My Thing

By Loren Willams

After reading this November's supply of initiatives, I have decided that, while I have a difficult time rejecting propositions, I may make an exception for some of the ones on the ballot.

October 13, 2004

Damn Skippy: He’s the Comeback Kid of Tikrit

By Loren Willams

Greetings American students. This is Saddam Hussein. I'm sure you have heard of me. I'm equally sure that you dislike me. Perhaps we could become pen pals someday. Your pictures are welcome too - it is very lonely in thi...

October 5, 2004

Damn Skippy: Forget the Media; Kerry Knocks Bush Out

By Loren Willams

Did you see the reactions to the presidential debates? Right after the event, most media outlets considered the event a draw. That's nonsense.

May 28, 2004

Damn Skippy: What Happened to the Family?

By Loren Willams

Everyone in the political world loves the Family. They may not like their own families, as the second or even third marriages of our upstanding leaders tell us, but they love Families.

May 18, 2004

Damn Skippy: Two Can Play This Game

By Loren Willams

One of my fellow Nexus columnists, Joey Tartakovsky, did a piece last week on the migration of jobs overseas. He interviewed one of UCSB's resident economists about this trend. Tartakovsky is a clever fellow, but he made...

May 11, 2004

Damn Skippy: Don’t Vote for G.I. John Kerry

By Loren Willams

I'm surprised that John Kerry's military record is widely believed to be his greatest strength. It certainly does say something about his character, but I'm not sure if it says anything positive.

May 4, 2004

Damn Skippy: A Battle for Free Speech

By Loren Willams

I don't like the way that the battle against obscenity is going. I'm convinced that ultimately the battle will be lost, much to my delight. For some reason, Americans find the word "fuck" much too titillating to do witho...

April 27, 2004

Damn Skippy: Some Fine Amber Waves of Grain

By Loren Willams

I love a lot of things. Ice cream, "Zoolander," and camping are among them. I certainly love my country. But above all, I love myself. From this self-love comes my appreciation for everything else.

April 20, 2004

Damn Skippy: Recent I.V. Decisions Should Concern Us All

By Loren Willams

Normally, I try to avoid local issues. Most of the time, they're boring, and even if they're not, regional matters are usually of little importance. Sometimes, they're both, like A.S. elections. But right now, there are ...

April 13, 2004

Damn Skippy: Milking a Liberal Conspiracy

By Loren Willams

Democrats seem to be making the administration's deception over the war in Iraq their leading platform. They're barking up the wrong tree. Don't get me wrong: Having certain evidence that George W. Bush and friends lied ...

March 30, 2004

Damn Skippy: The Survival of the Fittest for Dummies

By Loren Willams

Population growth is a big problem for me. As an environmentalist, I'm concerned that America already uses more resources than it can sustain. Water tables are dropping, topsoil is eroding and other bad things that requi...

February 24, 2004

Damn Skippy: Movies Just Make Psychos More Creative

By Loren Willams

I get a huge kick out of hearing people complain about violence in the media. For my part, I tell them to go ahead and entertain themselves with "Teletubbies" and Celine Dion.

February 17, 2004

Damn Skippy: G.I. Joe Heavyweight Discusses Terrorism and Job Security

By Loren Willams

Terrorism has been the defining issue for this presidency, and it might still be the biggest issue in the next presidential term. Those of us who plan on voting this November should probably put some thought into the top...