Year: 2017

Nexustentialism

How to Avoid Fuckbois and General Disappointment this Spring Break

March 30, 2017 by Lil Furnace

For the less fortunate among us, Spring Break means a week of White Russians in the morning and desperate fuckboys who want nudes.

Nexustentialism

7 Ways to Turn Your Backyard into Cabo

March 28, 2017 by Lil Furnace

Don’t want to cry profusely out of jealousy while avoiding your neighbor’s attempts to recruit you into his meth lab? Then follow these seven easy steps to create Cabo in your backyard!

Nexustentialism

Professor Booze Cruise Results in Hijacked Oil Rig

March 27, 2017 by Lauren Jensen

What was meant to be a quiet ocean cruise for several of the school’s esteemed faculty turned into a nightmare of intoxicated hijinks, which included the swift seizure of one of the several oil rigs that are visible from the coast.

Nexustentialism

“My Body, My Feet” Movement Aims to End Unwanted Footsy

March 24, 2017 by Lane Wright

On Sunday afternoon, a group of impassioned students forewent their studies in favor of chanting “My body! My feet!” while marching in and around Davidson Library.