×
Menu

Cops Are Elected To Keep Order, Not Create Chaos

Sometimes I fear for the Bear Flag Republic. I was walking through our beloved Isla Vista around midnight. It was a weekday and the streets were quiet. The air was warm and peaceful, pregnant with the...
read more

Dare to Discover Different Flavors of Sexual Deviancy

Sex can be compared to many different things, but I like to compare it to flavors of ice cream. I mean, everyone likes ice cream, right? Just as there is an endless variety of flavors of ice cream, th...
read more

Bag Ban Would Break Corporate Inertia and Beach Pollution

Over the past three years, the nonprofits Save the Mermaids, Surfrider, Santa Barbara Channelkeeper and LoaTree have been working to bring the issue of single-use plastic bags in large retail stores b...
read more

Ancient Stoner Warriors Shame Modern Social Straight Edges

There is a village in China that knows the secret to long life: wine and cannabis. Ancient civilizations across the planet knew the various incredible aspects of the cannabis plant and the value of a ...
read more

Right Said: Dismiss Democrats To Retain Freedom

Instead of discussing A.S elections for the whole column, I would first like to state I will proudly be supporting the only practical and serious slate — O.P.P. (Open People’s Party) — in additi...
read more

Legal, Organized Resistance Builds Against SHO

The Social Host Ordinance is here. Like it or not, the I.V. Foot Patrol’s fantasy has come to life. Whether you’ve heard about the ordinance or not, the Foot Patrol is planning on heavily enforcin...
read more

Barbara Boxer Deserves Senate Seat Over Fiorina

Young people are undecided and uninformed about the election next week, according to recent polls. Students also have a reputation for being aloof about elections, especially midterm elections.
read more

The Hump Addresses Final Sex Questions

Below are a series of questions written by a group of truly sophisticated, resourceful college boys. I’ve been instructed to answer all the questions honestly and without reserve.
read more

Seniors Should Reconsider Their Perspective on Underclassmen

“Oh wow, you’re a senior? Man, you’re probably the oldest person here.” Ouch. Like big wooden splinter in the soft spot between your toes kind of ouch.
read more

Only the Envious Deem Others “Sluts”

I went to a wedding in Montecito this weekend, and despite my skepticism about happily ever after in your early 20s, I was touched by the couple’s devotion.
read more

Avoiding the Dangers of Sexual Dehydration

A couple of weeks ago, I woke up curled comfortably next to one of my best friends. He jolted up, looked at me, and then with a disappointed look on his face, muttered, “Shit, I thought I got laid f...
read more

Leftover Lovers Satisfy the Cunning Gourmet

Imagine coming home from a night on the town. You’re hungry, drunk and totally out of food.
read more

Do It Like Animals: Enjoy the Thrill of the Hunt

Double the ones, double the fun? This weekend was my co-22nd birthday party, and when six bodacious females throw a rager, guys are inevitably going to show up. Yet, despite the luxurious number of co...
read more

Wingmen and Wingwomen Ease the Turbulence

Do you remember the kindergarten friend who taught you how to get all the way across the monkey bars? Or the friend you had in middle school who stuck by you through the tumultuous headgear years? Wha...
read more

Let It All Hang Out in Spring Quarter Free for All

If you never got the memo, Spring Break is just epic preparation for its successor, an annual phenomenon that arrives just in the nick of time: Spring Quarter. For the past three years I've greeted th...
read more