Weather

Trampin’ It Up

May 15, 2002 by

What's more charitable than a bunch of drunk meatheads hitting each other? A bunch of drunk meatheads employing their drunk "sisters" to bounce up and down nearly naked on a trampoline.
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Laundry Merry-Go-Round

May 14, 2002 by

My crotch is damp right now. Yesterday, I spent $8.75 of the froggypopfund to entertain my clothes at the Laundry Fun Center (“the laundromat” to the fucking idiot). I poured in some deter...
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More Peanuts for the Masses

May 10, 2002 by

You know the big boxes that arrived in Storke Plaza Thursday?
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Weather Talent

May 8, 2002 by

I am retooling the weatherrésumé. I have decided that while there are a lot of things I am very good at, they are not necessarily things I want to advertise.
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Weather: I Thought We Were Friends, Dave

May 8, 2002 by

The WeatherComputer has been rebelling. It shuts down on its own, runs programs nobody tells it to; it's trying to take control.
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Weather: It’s Not a Virus, It’s Free Porno

May 7, 2002 by

The dirty Melissa Virus infected Nexus computers for about a week. It scrambled Word documents and had the potential to send porno to everyone who communicates with the Nexus via email. We didn’...
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Weather: Sic Semper Tirannus!

May 6, 2002 by

My house was invaded by a spy in the form of a small dog.
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I’ll Be a Millionaire

May 3, 2002 by

Scientists recently announced the development of Radio-Controlled Rats(tm)(c)(r), rats with electrodes in their brains that can be made to perform different tasks.
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Give Em’ a Hardy Cheer Again, Hurrah!

May 1, 2002 by

I made a decision to conquer senioritis. As the weeks go on it has become harder and harder to roll out of bed and face the last class of my undergraduate education (being taken pass/fail).
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The Examined

May 1, 2002 by

Observe the calm of the graduating seniors. Though they have screwed off all quarter and rebelled against their masters only to be caught and put to midterms, they calmly await their fate and prepare ...
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Weather History

April 30, 2002 by

Referred to in female terms: Weatherpriestess, weathergodess, etc.
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It Will Make Begging on Bended Knee Easier

April 26, 2002 by

In the spirit of the Sports Facilities Fee initiative I promise a fee added to next year
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I’m Burnin’, I’m Burnin’ for You

April 26, 2002 by

Nexites are festive people who cherish special occasions. They're also more interbred than European royalty. .
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I am Not a Crook

April 24, 2002 by

Today you have a chance to do your duty for your school and democracy: Write in "Weatherhuman" for A.S. President. I promise to do nothing.
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Yellow Journalism

April 24, 2002 by

So I didn't win.I was hindered by my lack of promotional materials, endorsements and supporters
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