Weather

Just in Time!

February 2, 2006 by

It's a miracle! Both the new Arbor and the highly touted Broida Expressway are finally completed. Just in time! We were looking forward to using them ... two years ago (slight exaggeration).
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So Long, Menehunes

February 1, 2006 by

Today the 'human had a portion of itself ripped out, as it saw workers physically ripping apart the late Menehunes.
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Mad World

January 31, 2006 by

What the hell is this place coming to?
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The Great Indoors

January 30, 2006 by

The 'human feels bad for the team that lost to the Nexus last night at soccer. As if losing isn't already bad enough, they had to lose to a sampling of alcoholics whose job is to sit around all day in...
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The King Is Dead, Long Live the King

January 27, 2006 by

The 'human is pissed. Still.
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Meet: The WeatherJared

January 26, 2006 by

The 'human was vastly misinformed when it was told that there was a Subway at the new liquor store-esque Arbor. On the contrary, there was nary a sub to be bought, just a line of patient fools that fa...
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Simply Incompetent

January 25, 2006 by

Cell phones and iPods are everywhere. The 'human is berated by technology.
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Large Numbers

January 24, 2006 by

Damn that Kobe Bryant for upstaging the 'human on Sunday night. Doesn't number eight know that the 'human is the supreme being in the universe
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Room with a View

January 23, 2006 by

The thing that most befuddles the 'human about January is why everyone is so eager to look at the 'human's overpriced, undersized excuse of a living quarter.
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The Weathergasm

January 20, 2006 by

It was documented that Hitler could only orgasm when he spoke in public.
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Scatastrophe

January 19, 2006 by

I just found out today that the Sciggity Scat Man has died. Apparently, this happened several scaggety years ago, but that does not detract from the skiddity-magnitude of such a tragedy.
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I Can’t … I’m Mormon

January 18, 2006 by

Did you know UCSB is the second-fittest college campus next to BYU? This is bullshit.
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King of Hearts

January 17, 2006 by

In honor of Martin Luther King, Jr. Day yesterday, I slept in until 4 p.m. and had many dreams.
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Remembering Yesterday Is Hard

January 13, 2006 by

Yesterday was a sad day. Sidney Frank, inventor of Grey Goose Vodka, died yesterday at the age of 85.
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Suspension of Discharged Relief

January 12, 2006 by

The only thing I miss about high school is the suspensions. Remember how exciting it was when you or somebody you knew was suspended for the day and the whole school was ablaze in gossip.
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