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Fertilizer & Flowers

November 30, 2001 by

It's time for the quarterly tulips and turds to be dished out.
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Weather: To the Battle-Hardened

November 30, 2001 by

Congratulations, you made it! The end of week 10! Just a Dead Week and some tests left. Let me guess: the days took eons, but the weeks went by in a flash. Let me guess: You didn’t study, but yo...
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Shed a Little Light

November 30, 2001 by

When one thinks of Isla Vista as a community, it's easy to forget the 10,000 residents who aren't students. We don't interact with them on a daily basis, even though they live down the street or even ...
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The Sure Way To Stop Venoco’s Oily Plan Is to Buy Them Out

November 30, 2001 by

Venoco Inc. has proposed a revamping and expansion of its oil development facilities.
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Red Tape: You Follow in a Long Line of Finals-Haters, Young One

November 30, 2001 by

UCSB is a member of the Association of American Universities, a list of the 60 leading colleges in the U.S. and Canada. We were also ranked the second best public research institution in the U.S., as ...
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Taking That Last, Frightening Step Off the Edge Into Oblivion

November 30, 2001 by

I weigh these thoughts heavily, stand up on wobbly legs, and feel the wind against my back. On the horizon, the Channel Islands bathe in fog and I muster my strength.
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Living Without Vowels: When It Comes to Drugs, Watch Your Glass and Ass

November 30, 2001 by

While the decision to do drugs is a personal choice, anyone using them for the purposes of rape ought to have their gonads removed by a hungry poodle.
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Grad Students Bite Back at Elections

November 30, 2001 by

Fed up with the way mandatory student fees are dumped on them, grad students are threatening to make this year's campuswide elections worthless.
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We Can Learn About Terrorism From the Israelis

November 30, 2001 by

Just as America is hunting down bin Laden and the al-Qaeda network, Israel is hunting down terrorist members of Hamas, Islamic Jihad, Popular Front for the Liberation of Palestine, Hezbollah and other...
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SAT Success Is Best Left to the Boot Straps

November 29, 2001 by

I find it extremely hard to believe that just because a test-taker comes from a low-income neighborhood or family, answering questions about high school mathematics is so much more difficult for them ...
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In Memory: El Canario (1988 – 2001)

November 29, 2001 by

The weatherbike was stolen last week. It was parked, whistling cheerfully at passerby in its bright, yellow fashion. The weatherbike was always cheerful, even when it lost its handlebars and the brake...
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A Living Wage for the Upper-Middle Class

November 29, 2001 by

It's possible to get the Santa Barbara City Council to care about the cost of living for city employees, but only if said employees are making about $190,000 per year.
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One Nation, Under God, Uncoerced …

November 29, 2001 by

Gail Marshall's request that her advisory commission itself decide whether to make the Pledge was squarely in line with that Court ruling and with longstanding American distaste for coerced patriotism...
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Weather: We’re The Golden Children Turning Bronze

November 28, 2001 by

The Hometown WeatherQuintilogy: #3 Santa Barbara is too expensive for people with actual problems. Ridiculous local apartment rents equal a house mortgage in any rural shithole, so you can’t aff...
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Rughe Elephant

November 28, 2001 by

The Lompoc Economic Development Committee member is in trouble for sending letters to south coast newspapers, stating that "Muslims are out to destroy our world."
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