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Red Tape: The Rest of You Can Get Lost; I’m Staying Right Here

I'm not moving this summer. There. I've lost half of your sympathies. All of my stuff will remain in place, collecting Isla Vista dust for another year.
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UCSB Should Mind Its Own Business

For the small number of students who do use Umail accounts, Yonie Harris. The dean of students, informed us that the parental notification system will be put in place this upcoming fall.
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It’s dead week folks. The showdown.

UCSB is full of do-gooders. People who are trying to end disease, violence and oppression, people who want to save the world. I salute you for your efforts.
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New Parking Plan Punishes Students for Not Buying Permits

For those of you parking on campus next year, pay attention. This is what you need to know to work your way through the recommendations of the advisory committee on parking.
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Parental Notification, New Ordinances Are Good Ideas

The Isla Vista Alcohol and Other Drugs Council endorsed parental notification and the recently approved Community Safety Ordinance. Here's why:
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Red Tape: Productivity Is Nothing but a Twelve-Letter Word

It's the last day before finals and you're reading this because you don't want to study. Yeah, I know how it works. You'll go home in a few minutes and play video games or make yourself lunch. You'll ...
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Goleta Resident Asks Owners of White Mattress to Pick It Up

On Sunday, a small white pickup truck sped from a dirt road leading from a beautiful field next to my house. In it were two college-aged men. I have no way of knowing for sure if they were UCSB studen...
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Isla Vista, It’s for Your Own Good

Over the last several months, the working group has developed initiatives that, taken in combination, should help make Isla Vista a safer place to live, work and go to school.
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Attack of the Carnivorous Weathercouch

The weathercouch eats things. It's had several previous owners and when we got it, it came with a Gameboy, $1.75, and a remote for someone else's television.
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Environmental Studies Offers More Than Just Hippies

In fact, most ES majors are not hippies. The only similarity between ES majors and hippies is a respect for nature and a desire to live with it. If people prone to judgment and stereotyping think that...
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The Long Hump Goodbye

This is it. It's over. I'm sorry. All good things must come to an end, so they say. And for some of you, I'm sure that this final column is an indication that all bad things too must come to an end.
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You Know Who You Are

All of your term papers are due this week
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Staff Editorial: Pave the Way

In exchange for the Ellwood Mesa, which will become an open recreational area, Goleta will appease the developers and UCSB with parcels of land for their building pleasure.
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So Cool, They’re Hot

Forget your sociology classes. Pop Tarts will lead us to a more egalitarian society.
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UCSB Students May Be More Responsible Than People Think

Have you heard the one about Isla Vista and how we annually consume 1 percent of the nation's alcohol? Ha ha - insert laugh here. I am sure that we have all heard this rumor. But how many people belie...
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