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Obey Your Purse

This quarter I'm taking a class about how to find efficient, low-cost solutions to problems. The textbook for the class costs $160.
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Let’s Do Our Part to Help Tsunami Victims

Throughout my years growing up, I can remember my mom saying the following: "The Lord helps those who help themselves." This is a saying that obviously sticks in my mind to this very day.
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Thesaurus of Debauchery

Welcome to 2005, kids. With the new year and the new class schedule inconveniently aligning themselves, when you're sitting in your first lecture of dreaded Winter Quarter you will undoubtedly get a l...
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Daddy Christmas

Over Winter Break I saw the greatest Christmas light display ever. On the fence of this one house, someone had spelled out, in lights, "HO." Not "HO HO HO." Just "HO."
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The Pleasures and Pains of City Life Abroad

Living in London is interesting. I realized this morning, as I was watching the weather that listed "Tuesday: grey; Wednesday: grey; Thursday: lighter," this isn't a joke - this is London. What I real...
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Ever Wonder How It Feels to Sell Your Soul on Facebook?

On Nov. 24, I signed up and received a Thefacebook account. I know that since July you've been logging on three times a day to check for "pokes," reading inane updates to your group's message board, a...
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Juggernaut Renter Fails to Keep His Internet Promises

I live at 6694 Picasso Rd., which is a 10-unit apartment building - about 32 people live there. Ron Wolfe and Associates manages the building and upon signing the lease, we were promised free high-spe...
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Gaucho Goalkeeper Embodies All That Is Good in Sports

I thought I would drop a quick note to compliment the men's soccer team on a terrific year. I particularly want to thank senior goalkeeper Dan Kennedy, who was extraordinarily polite to my two boys, 8...
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Left-Lane Driver: Crossing Enemy Lines

Now that the dust has finally cleared from the electoral battlefield and Bush prepares to make his second inaugural address, it's time for us Democrats to finally come to terms with our loss.
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Smile! It’s Raining!

OK, so I'm not responsible for all the rain. Really. Quite the contrary. I'm annoyed just like you are; I had to buy an umbrella. Ironically, the weatherhuman loses umbrellas all the time.
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Bedhead Diaries: My Long-Overdue Love Affair With Uggs

After more than a year of resisting the stubborn phenomenon that plowed its way from the depths of Australia to the shoe racks of ladies and adventurous men all over the world, I finally caved in: Ove...
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Perversions Over Politics?

I reject the terms "liberal" and "conservative." In fact, I think everyone should refer to themselves politically by their sexual fetishes.
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‘Tis Never the Season

Finals are almost here... almost. Mine keep almost arriving, but then they get pushed back further into the hazy future by the professor.
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Ungrateful Girls Deserve an Icy Xmas

With the holiday season now in full bloom, the thought of giving is in the air. The only question is what to give and whom to give it to. The only gift I can suggest is for girls who have caught the e...
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Barbaric Ways Won’t Scare Criminals Into Reform

Suggesting that torturing inmates would solve the problem is not only ignorant, but is also simply idiotic due to its inhumanity.
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