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The Linguistics of Love

January 26, 2005 by Dave Franzese

"Penis" is such a gross word. It sounds like it should be the name of some sort of sea creature, probably with tentacles: "The North Atlantic Penis feeds predominantly on small shellfish, and is often...
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Whoa… Story Assignment…

January 26, 2005 by Staff

Dude, there's a correction today. I guess we got a bit confused while reporting on the joint-rolling contest. Let's face it... all the joints were pretty damn good.
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Globalization Alone Won’t Save Poor Economies

January 26, 2005 by Elia Boggia

Breezing through Alec Mouhibian's latest column titled ("Private Dancer: Wake Up, Progressives," Daily Nexus, Jan 24), one can only spread himself in the comfort of his lawn chair, take another sip of...
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Props to the Students Who Really Soldier Through College

January 26, 2005 by Christopher Rice

In a neighborhood of unmotivated, beer-drinking college misfits, it's hard to imagine a successful program based on dedication and responsibility, yet nestled behind Campbell Hall is a building that h...
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Help Rescue the Women’s Center From Ruthless Budget Cuts

January 26, 2005 by Megan Arch

As many of us have noted in the last couple of years or so, the priorities of our national and state governments have shifted away from the needs of university students.
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Don’t Let Naivet

January 26, 2005 by Ryan Gardner

This letter is in response to Monday's letter ("Egocentric Dems Should Accept Election Results, Daily Nexus, Jan. 24). I appreciate the fact that the letter expressed a valid opinion and should be hea...
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He Said, She Said: Network Leaves a World of Possibilities at Your Fingertips

January 25, 2005 by Drew Mackie

My phone vibrates in my pocket. I pull it out to find I have been "poked" by someone with an unfamiliar name. I feel dirty. Some stranger has extended a digital finger and caused a brief rumbling sens...
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Made in the Storke Socialist Republic

January 25, 2005 by Staff

I already thought "What Not to Wear" was a pretty socialist show, but North Korea has taken it one step further with its new TV series, "Let Us Trim Our Hair in Accordance With Socialist Lifestyle."
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He Said, She Said: Internet Shenanigans Are Eerily Reminiscent of High School

January 25, 2005 by Kristen Richer

As a toddler, I was shy. I spoke only when spoken to - if then - and as my mother taught me, I was leery of strangers.
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May I Suggest Canada for Bush-Bashers?

January 25, 2005 by Patrick Callahan

Ah, the fresh smell of victory. There's nothing like waking up to hear "President Bush's Second Inauguration" on any given news channel. This is the face of democracy. The Democrats thought they had i...
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Private Dancer: Wake Up, Progressives

January 24, 2005 by Alec Mouhibian

The progressive movement sprouted from the idea that the world would really get somewhere if only everybody would let their lives be run by progressives. Central to the idea was a centralized and empo...
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Penny for My Thoughts

January 24, 2005 by Staff

I hate pennies. They're like the quick-breeding, out-of-control bunnies of the monetary world. Back in 2001, one courageous congressman, Jim Kolbe (R-Ariz.), introduced legislation calling for its eli...
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Egocentric Dems Should Accept Election Results

January 24, 2005 by Paul Jones

This is a letter to all the protesters who walked out of class last week. Why are you so disappointed with a democratically elected president? After the 2000 presidential election, everyone was so pis...
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A Special Thank You From a Victim Of UCSB’s Maze

January 24, 2005 by George Gaynes

This past Friday, I had just left Girvetz Hall at 9 p.m. after a script reading. Confident of finding my way in the dark back to where my wife had dropped me off that afternoon somewhere west of Campb...
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The Scoop on I.V. Living

January 21, 2005 by Monique Moyal

It's that time of year when every knock on the door means that freshmen fresh out of San Nic want to see a real Isla Vista apartment, like it's some kind of exhibit at the zoo. A lot of shit goes on i...
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