NCAA Scalps Seminoles
To all of you self-righteous, politically-correct moralists, I have a message from the general American population, and it goes like this: Lighten up assholes!
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GOLD Makeover Would Come As a Relief
I am so frustrated with GOLD that I thought I'd write to the Nexus and make a few suggestions. I think I speak for most students when I say that GOLD needs some major revision and modernization.
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Court Decorum For Drunkies
Well, we made it through Halloween pretty much intact. A bit on the crowded side, but overall people seemed to get along pretty well. However, there were still some problems. Lesson 1: lots of alcohol...
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A Streak to Forget
If you attended the men's playoff soccer game Saturday, then you saw one of the most pathetic attempts at rushing the field in the history of mankind.
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Regents’ Priorities Need an Exhaustive Makeover
They increased fees again. Fucking bastards. You'd think America would want to educate its people. But I guess that's just what we think. I guess it would just be cheaper to have the next generation o...
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Isla Vista Post-Halloween Cleanup Accomplishes Goal
The Adopt-A-Block program hosted its annual Halloween cleanup after the busy weekend. Adopt-A-Block is a community cleanup program administered by the Isla Vista Recreation and Park District and spons...
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A Disparity of Dialect
I didn't believe in the language barrier until I took an introductory Spanish class in high school. I had hoped to learn about Spanish culture and its rich history, but I could never actually learn an...
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Military Recruiter Opponents Don
So let me see if I get this straight: Chris Trenchard's piece "Rogue Inquiry Evades Prod" (Daily Nexus, Nov. 15), the one where he shadow boxes a fictitious caricature of a U.S. Army recruiter (and u...
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Problem Stems from Slang
Female Masturbation. Masssstuurbaaation. Unlike other words, that one doesn't exactly roll off your tongue. You kind of have to gag it out. Go ahead reader, say it out loud. I don't care if you are in...
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Even Moms Rub the Knob
Every single girl I have talked to about sex has admitted it to me. Some of you clueless boys out there might be surprised. Even the shyest of girls masturbate. Sorority girls masturbate. Your mom mas...
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Toy-Story 5: Uncensored
I would just like to inform you that masturbating, to most girls, is definitely better than sex. Many girls can't even get an orgasm without some sort of, well, "toy" to help. And since this is the ca...
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Women Deserve the Delight
Saso's candor is refreshing, much like masturbation itself. Yet amidst his article's liberating aspects, I am troublesomely reminded of the plague that is female sexuality. We either sheepishly deny o...
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Labyrinth: Grades Search
Video
Aries
March 21 - April 19
“Greased Lightnin’” from “Grease”
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Sunset waltz from “La La Land”
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
“Thriller” by Michael Jackson
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Frat flick
Leo
July 23 - August 22
“Macarena” by Los Del Río
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
“Gangnam Style” by PSY
Libra
September 23 - October 22
“Swan Lake” by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Renegade
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
“Cell Block Tango” from “Chicago”
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
“The Last Text” from “Dance Moms”
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Flossing
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
All of “Hamilton”
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