Nexustentialism
It's satire, stupid.
University of California, Santa Barbara? More like California Lottery, Santa Barbara. Following the introduction of a lottery selection process for its Honors Program, Resident Advisor hires, on-campu...
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I have just had the worst day of my life. My crush has been crushed.
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Political Science 155L, UCSB’s long-standing congressional simulation course, was not offered this year for the first time since 2010. The course pits students against each other as members of Congr...
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After 2025’s Deltopia, UCSB’s annual celebration of the beginning of spring quarter, the iconic Del Playa Drive crumbled completely to the ocean. Organizers already anticipate the block party for ...
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For many Gauchos, Deltopia, UC Santa Barbara’s biggest dayge, is the height of the coupling season. Out in the sunlight, all is laid bare for God and Yang to see, leading to many tender moments thro...
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In preparation for Isla Vista’s annual block party, Deltopia, UCSB students have begun littering Del Playa Drive in order to give visitors an authentic taste of Gaucho life. Students have been spott...
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It is common knowledge that the top three floors of UC Santa Barbara’s Library, numbering floors six through eight, are the quiet floors, where speaking or making any sort of noise above slightly ag...
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Not even the ocean can keep you safe from getting slammed with the tire of death, as seen yesterday at Campus Point, when a surfboarder looked up from attempting to ride the tube on 4-foot waves and w...
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Another great Deltopia weekend has come and gone in the sunny streets of Isla Vista. Students poured out this past weekend for the event, bikini-clad for their treks across Del Playa. As early as 4:20...
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“Deltopia” was recently added as a Best Picture nominee at the upcoming Academy Awards ceremony, following public pressure to recognize what The Hollywouldn’t Reporter deemed as “the best film...
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Presidents Day weekend is a sight for sore college student eyes. Coming swiftly after midterms, the three-day weekend was the perfect break for UC Santa Barbara students to relax, taking in all that I...
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Rounding out the final session of pass times, many fourth-years found themselves, for once, at ease. Finally, the first group to get their greedy little hands on classes, mostly everyone was satisfied...
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Every year when Valentine's day finally arrives, the question flooding girl group chats is “What should I get my boyfriend for Valentine’s Day?” It's a challenge to find the perfect gift for a m...
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Love entered my life when I received that text from that unknown number. “Hey Chris, it’s Jared. Just got a new number.” I giggled. Silly Jared, I’m not Chris. I replied to the message, tellin...
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Hot take: college is like preschool. College students must painfully relearn how to make friends and share their things. And, college students’ immune systems seem to have a major regression, becomi...
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A werewolf who definitely howled mid make-out
A performative male dressed as Tyler Durden
The mime that somehow made it hot and cool
The ghost of your situationship (no, it’s actually them)
Frat vampire, and your neck will be bleeding
The angel that has definitely never gone out
The literal devil
A prisoner with fake tattoos that you can pretend are real for the night
A sexy cowboy that definitely used the ride line at least four times
A Patrick Bateman who relates a little too much
The witch who asked for your zodiac sign first
A nurse who will leave you needing CPR
