Drunken Hookups Yield Diminishing Pleasure
The thing I love about college is it’s the only place I can do everything wasted: cook, booty call my grandmother and make it home with at least one shoe on.
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You, Me and Magnum Makes Three
In the real world, a box of condoms costs about ten dollars. In college life, sex and relationships interns make the starry Isla Vista skies rain with bulk Lifestyles and banana flavored Durexes.
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Dorm Rooms Make for the Best Sexperiences
Long ago, UCSB first decided to remind freshmen of their infantile nature with the familiar barred sidings just like when you were a baby.
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Bedroom Etiquette for Dummies
Communication about sex is by default neither easy nor common for parents, so excuse their embarrassment and take it upon yourself to be learn how to be polite.
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Featured Comic
Please Don’t Try to Bike Over the Hump Pls
Labyrinth: Grades Search
Aries
March 21 - April 19
Do: Practice being respectful. Don’t: Get caught up saying yes to all the Arbor's tablers.
Taurus
April 20 - May 20
Do: Grab a coffee at Cajé. Don’t: Scooter to Campbell Hall.
Gemini
May 21 - June 20
Do: Self-reflection. Don’t: Wear flip-flops to your 9 a.m. class.
Cancer
June 21 - July 22
Do: Go to CLAS. Don’t: Keep spending money at Freebirds.
Leo
July 23 - August 22
Do: Watch a peaceful Campus Point sunrise. Don’t: Slap your ex on DP.
Virgo
August 23 - September 22
Do: Give a new coffee spot a chance. Don’t: “Sleep through” your 8 a.m. class. Again.
Libra
September 23 - October 22
Do: Take a moment to breathe. Don’t: Flake on your Hinge date.
Scorpio
October 23 - November 21
Do: Use your dining hall plan. Don’t: Scroll through GauchoGuys during lecture.
Sagittarius
November 22 - December 21
Do: Visit your TA. Don’t: Use Thriftopia as an excuse to binge spend.
Capricorn
December 22 - January 19
Do: Start applying to internships. Don’t: Hook up on campus.
Aquarius
January 20 - February 18
Do: Bow down to Chancellor Yang when you see him. Don’t: Fall off your bike.
Pisces
February 19 - March 20
Do: Pick up the Daily Nexus. Don’t: Ignore your parents’ texts.
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