Weather

Weather: Mi Corazon!

April 23, 2002 by

I'm learning Spanish. One of my weathermates has gotten hooked on a new Novela. Everyday he tunes in at 2 p.m. to get his latest fix of sex, pregnancy and family angst. From what I've learned, I can s...
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Free Stuff

April 19, 2002 by

What's the best thing about graduation? Is it the insecurity of being without a social and financial support structure? Is it the terrifying prospect of monthly student loan payments?
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Weather: Little Webbed Bastard

April 19, 2002 by

Childhood figures do not have sex. Despite allegations, Scrappy is not the love-child of Velma and Scooby. Skipper is Barbie's "younger sister" and Huey Dewey and Louie are just bunking with their ric...
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What to Give the Great Buddha?

April 18, 2002 by

Thursday's Forecast: A swift kick to the nuts.
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Pussy Melon

April 17, 2002 by

I love stupid useless crap. That is why I'm ecstatic over the grand-opening of the Isla Vista dollar store. Morning Glory's replacement is chalk full of discount pasta, Chinese made mermaid dolls, des...
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(No Weather Today)

April 15, 2002 by

(No Weather Today)
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Write Your Slogans in Lamb’s Blood

April 15, 2002 by

The Powers That Be have taken steps to smite this year's A.S. campaign. Last week humidity melted the tempera paint until all the candidate names were identical blurs. On Monday, 30 mph gales transf...
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The Candidate

April 12, 2002 by

Some have doubted my ability to execute the duties of President, as I am a non-corporal entity. I touch nothing but myself, and my rantings in this ever-shrinking box are unfocused, self obsessed, and...
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Give ’em the Chair

April 11, 2002 by

People make a fuss over what professor teaches which class, never realizing what makes one lecture okay and another torture: the chairs.
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L.A. Story

April 10, 2002 by

The weatherpet is suffering a midlife crisis. At three he is past his youth and has been reminded of his advancing age by a hernia and kidney stones.
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Weatherticket 2002

April 9, 2002 by

Its popularity contest season again. Associated Students candidates spent Sunday night littering campus with illegible campaign materials.
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National Geographic

April 8, 2002 by

I emerged from the weathercave Saturday evening to replenish my meteorological supplies and found myself immersed in a foreign land.
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To Access the Daytime Menu, Press One

April 4, 2002 by

The RBT menu has a new addition. "Press four to hear a frog croak," offers the monotone.
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Parking Structure

April 3, 2002 by

The combination of responsible attendance and new bikes, double U-locked with the promise that they will remain in their owners' possession, clog and clutter most of the lots.
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Exhibitionists

April 2, 2002 by

I went looking for a warm patch of sand in Mexico to wile away the Spring vacation and wound up one night in Papas 'n' Beer. I found myself staring, along with a sizable portion of the sizable crowd, ...
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